Crispy's Mini-Movie Review Thread (still sans pie)

[Crispy]

Even though it's been ages since I've checked in here, I'm still watching loads of films and writing my two cents on them. Thought I'd share a few of the more current ones with y'all.


La La Land
B
Full disclosure on three things, number one being Emma Stone is my cinematic Achilles heel. She could be in the worst movie ever and I’d still probably give it a C-. Two, I’m not a fan of musicals in general. It’s just not my genre, for the most part. And three, I saw this film about two star crossed lovers with my ex, and let’s just say we were going through some stuff. So we both came out of the same film and had wildly different interpretations of it. I sympathized with Ryan Gosling’s character and thought it was a sad ending. Whereas she thought it was a happy ending, just a little bittersweet. So, yeah. That’s where I’m coming from on this one. The opening number was a bit much for me and Gosling & Stone didn’t have the greatest voices, but apparently that was intentional. However, the music and lyrics were great. And it was shot beautifully. I’d definitely recommend seeing it for those reasons alone. And, of course, Emma Stone.


The Founder
C+
Like most American’s, a good percentage of my diet comes from fast food. So when Michael Keaton and Nick Offerman star in a film about the founding of the granddaddy of all fast food chains, McDonald’s, I’m interested. The cast all delivered great performances and the subject matter was indeed intriguing. However, this film unfortunately suffers from poor direction and terrible pacing. A guy two rows in front of me actually fell asleep and was snoring through a good 20 minutes of the movie. And I didn’t even bother waking him up because he honestly wasn’t missing much at all.


Lego Batman Movie
B+
I really liked the first Lego Movie, and this one just didn't have the same comedic oomph or come across as original as the first film since it touched on so many of the same themes as the Lego Movie— father son relationships, family, and loneliness. However, it’s probably the best film to ever examine the heart of Batman’s emotional pain and trauma of being orphaned. I think my nine-year-old nephew summed it up nicely when he said, “I like it. Batman was really emotional.”


Split
B+
James McAvoy leads a terrific cast in this small, well crafted suspense/horror story that has a coda scene which gives it that M.Night “twist ending” he’s been known for throughout his career.


Logan
B+
I tried to go into this film with few expectations, but I failed. Some of those expectations were met in a spectacular way and others were most decidedly not. A very long and spoiler filled review is below and the tl;dr version of it is this: Good=performances & action, Bad=complex plot & plot gaps, Ugly=heavy handed symbolism.

The Good
* Performances! These are the best performances of any X-Men film yet, save maybe Deadpool. Patrick Stewart owns the 2017 Best Supporting Actor Oscar as far as I'm concerned. The rest of the cast was also on point--Stephen Merchant's Caliban and Boyd Holbrook's Pierce especially. And finally, this girl playing Laura/X-23 gave a truly honest and sincere performance of rage, pain, and vulnerability.
* The action! Finally, a Wolverine film that has the fight scenes I’ve been waiting to see since I started reading Wolverine comics back in junior high school. Even though there was yet another battle in the woods (it’s basically an Wolverine trope at this point) I still thoroughly enjoyed the full on Wolvie rage. Some of the X-23 fights were cut a bit too much, but I give that a pass as I’m sure most of her stuff was a mix of stunts and CGI.
* Representation of the “not too distant future” in 2029. Subtle but impactful notes were put into the script to remind the audience this wasn’t present day.
* And finally, something important the filmmakers paid homage to from the comics was they basically kept Logan’s (most recent) death the same as it was the comics. In the comics a vat of melted adamantium is poured over Logan and it hardens in this statuesque pose on a rooftop as the sun sets. What really kills Logan in the film isn’t X-24, but it’s the adamantium wearing down his healing factor to the point he’s mortal. So the adamantium kills him from the inside out in the film and not from the outside in like the comics. I see what you did there screenwriters, and I like it!
*Speaking of death scenes, that burial of Xavier had me misty eyed. It goes back to the performances compliment, but this may’ve been Jackman’s best scene. He went from understated and vulnerable to full on shovel rage. It was a very well done scene.
*Logan’s final words were also pretty damned perfect. I wanna say I remember another character using those as final words, but until someone proves that, I’ll give it to Logan.

The Bad
* Overly complex plot! If you want to make a superhero Western mash-up, then keep the plot simple. There was way too much new info to process, and this leads me to my second criticism…
* Too many important plot points are left to minimal exposition or just plain left unexplained. Granted, if this was a stand alone film then the minimal explanations would be great service to the pacing of the plot. However, that’s not the case here! LOGAN is in a universe with nine previous fucking films built behind it. And LOGAN implies way too much with no explanation. These giant plot points (Yes, plural.) that were left unexplained became extremely distracting for me. Here is a list:
1.Wait, why are there no new mutants born in the last, what’d Xavier say, 25 years? Please, ‘splain dat to me again Dr. Rice!?!?
2. WTF happened “a year ago” with Charles in Westchester and which X-Men did he kill? The radio report made it sound like Xavier killed seven X-Men. Who?!? How? Why is implied, but the rest needed a flashback.
3. Why is it Dr. Rice and not Mr. Sinister the main behind the scenes pulling the strings? I get Rice has ties to the Weapon X project, but Age of Apocalypse and Bryan Singer told us we’d have fucking Mr. Sinister! http://collider.com/wolverine-3-mist...-bryan-singer/ [My guess is he was supposed to be the big bad Wolvie fights to the death, but they thought it’d be all symbolic” if the only thing that could kill Wolverine was another Wolverine, hence X-24. [I don’t remember if X-24 is even a thing in the comics.]
4. When, how, and why did the X-Men go from hated and feared mutant scum to beloved superheroes like the Avengers? Why are there X-Men comics and toys in this universe now?
5. What’s Eden and who runs it? Why is Eden even necessary if the X-Men made mutants viewed as superheroes in this world!?!? And if these kids aren’t “natural mutants” what makes Eden so eager to take these kids in? Yeah, just Eden in general is a big fucking question mark.

And some less crucial points that still irked me:
6. Why are Dr. Rice & the Reevers only in pursuit of Laura? Why not the other escaped kids?
7. Speaking of which, who got those other X-23 kids to the rendezvous point in North Dakota? Presumably the other nurses, but where are they?
8. How the hell did Laura get Logan in to the hospital after Xavier’s burial? Please tell me there’s not a dead fisherman and his dog back by that pond/lake! “What’s in the box, Laura? What’s in the boooox?!?”
9. Why did Logan ask Caliban to help with Xavier? And why is he a complete 180 from the Caliban in Age of Apocalypse?
10. How do Dr. Rice & co. know where Logan and Xavier are hiding but not the US government? You’d think after what’s implied to have happened in Westchester that Xavier be on their most wanted list.
11. How are those X-23 kids gonna be on a time crunch to cross the border to Eden but have enough time to move and bury Logan? Shouldn’t other government agencies still have been in pursuit of them after the first wave was wiped out?

The Ugly
* The heavy handed symbolism.
Turning that cross into an X at the end should’ve been a moving moment, but I was so burned out on the heavy handed symbolism with Shane that it just came off as so utterly corny to me. Ditto for Laura reciting that Shane monologue at Logan’s grave. This was an opportunity for some great original writing, but instead they just cribbed it. Not cool. After nine movies with this character he deserved his own memorable send off. Came across as lazy writing to me. [But Logan’s actual final words, as I mentioned earlier, were near perfect.

And the other bit of heavy handed symbolism was X-24. I mean, *ugh* wasn’t the adamantium poisoning enough to get across Logan is his own worst enemy? I think a character may have even spoken those exact words in the film. So why did Mangold feel the need to literally clone Logan and have him fight “himself” to get that point across? *sigh* It just felt like another missed opportunity for originality.

[Volta]

You're back!!!!

I want to just jump in full force with LOGAN but I am long-winded with these types of questions and opinions of my own.
I've read a number of comic books that have

Wolverine's death. Two where Sinister kills him by his power and then by cutting his head off. I've also read a comic book where Strife (Cable's twin??) kills him. Strife kills a lot of X-Men to be fair in those comics and Psylocke kind of takes over. These were both years ago.

ANYHOW, I am so glad for your detailed, point-by-point BAD section because I share the same sentimentality.

[Crispy]

You're back!!!!

I want to just jump in full force with LOGAN but I am long-winded with these types of questions and opinions of my own.
I've read a number of comic books that have

Wolverine's death. Two where Sinister kills him by his power and then by cutting his head off. I've also read a comic book where Strife (Cable's twin??) kills him. Strife kills a lot of X-Men to be fair in those comics and Psylocke kind of takes over. These were both years ago.

ANYHOW, I am so glad for your detailed, point-by-point BAD section because I share the same sentimentality.

Thank you! I am so glad to know at least someone on the Interwebs agrees with me. I saw Logan on opening night and brought most of those points up with my friends there, and they were freezing me out and not really agreeing. Even worse was when I put that same post on a geekboard I frequent and got total shade. They were in line with the RT reviewers and were all, "OMG LOGAN is the BEST comicbook movie EVAAARRRR!11!1" I mean, it's a very good film, the best Wolverine movie by miles and miles, but it's not without its flaws. Not Suicide Squad level flaws, to be sure, but flaws nonetheless.

Now as to your comic book spoiler, which was much more abbreviated than mine (I thought you were long-winded?!?! ) regarding the film and X-Men books.

Wolverine's death, as you point out, is definitely not something new in comics. This last death though, which was a stand alone miniseries that I did read, seems like it's gonna stick. (It was okay. I wouldn't call it recommended reading because it has a lot of clone stuff and yadda, yadda, yadda.) Marvel has gotten around "resurrecting" characters in a pretty clever, if not annoying, way. They kill off the 616 universe character (i.e. the "real" character) then bring in the same character from an alternate timeline to the 616 universe.

So as you probably know, the Logan we know in the comics has died, suffocated in a cocoon of adamantium. However, Old Man Logan was brought into the main Marvel universe (616 universe) after the Secret Wars crossover in 2015. They did the same thing with Cyclops, too. The question with the X-Men movie franchise is will they do this "alternate timeline" gag with the current cast now or just reboot the whole thing? With Days of Future Past the whole thing has become almost as convoluted as the comics--LOL. J/K. NOTHING is as convoluted as the X-Men comics.

[Crispy]

Blackfish
A+
Engaging and enlightening documentary on orcas in captivity and numerous injuries and deaths orcas have caused to their trainers while in captivity. The film centers round a case OSHA made against Sea World after trainer Dawn Brancheau was violently mutilated and killed in 2010 by the same orca that killed another female trainer 20 years prior.


Chasing Coral
A+
A Netflix documentary about the devastating effect global warming is having on the coral population around the world and why it is so important. This doc is not only beautifully shot and scored, but it did exactly what a great documentary is supposed to do: it entertained, connected, and educated the audience regarding the subject matter. Climate change and its effects will not lessen over night, but this doc left me feeling hopeful that we will make progress before it’s to late for the coral and us.


Chaos on the Bridge
A
William Shatner made a documentary about ST:TNG? Yes he did. And it's awesome! I would’ve given this film an A+, but it needed about 20 more minutes. Seriously, I did not want this documentary to end. Writers, studio executives, producers, and actors from the series talk very candidly to Shatner as he does a surprisingly great job of interviewing them all. A total must see for any ST:TNG fan!


GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling
B+
It’s a short but sweet documentary on the surprisingly popular late 80s wrestling show and the men and women who brought it to life. It clearly inspired the creators of the Netflix series, and if you liked season one of the show then this is a must see.


Going Clear
A
Excellent HBO doc on the history of Scientology and how its practices of intimidation, extortion, and outright abuse have made it a billion dollar institution.


Know Your Enemy – Japan [1945]
A
Directed by Frank Capra and narrated by Walter Houston & Dana Andrews, this 1945 US military funded propaganda film starts off with a disclaimer about the “Nisei” or second generation Japanese-Americans born in America, who love America, and even fought for America in WWII, but then it ends with saying this film isn’t about them—it’s about “the Japs in Japan.” Damn. Netflix has some balls putting this up, but it’s an unfiltered look at a very specific point in American history. It’s propaganda for sure, but it’s also meant to explain to Americans (soldiers especially) exactly how Japan came to be an enemy of the USA. There were a few whitewashes I noticed, like the part about Commodore Perry “extending the hand of friendship” in order to open trade with Japan in the 1800s. However, there was a lot of accurate and surprisingly unbiased information considering the cultural climate in which this film was made.


Secrets of Selfridges
B
This is a short PBS doc on American retail pioneer H.G. Selfridge who created the titular department store in London in the early 1900s. He was so good at retail that he revolutionized the way shopping was done all over the world and many of his techniques are still used today to get us to enjoy shopping so much that we just can’t stop. Huzzah consumerism!


Starring Adam West
A
This entertaining documentary takes an unflinching look at the highs and lows of Adam West’s personal and professional lives. It is set around the premise of a superfan, and LA radio host, trying to get West a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Interspersed with the struggle to get him his recognition, is a look back on the career of the winsome and affable Adam West.


The Pirate Bay - Away From Keyboard
B
This documentary about the Swedish trio of guys who started the massively popular torrent sharing site and their trial (and following round of appeals in Sweden circa 2008-2012) offers an interesting, if incomplete look at the lives of these three men at this time. It also focuses on how file sharing and Net Neutrality are interwoven in a fragile thread that big business wants to have global governments sever.

[Andreas]

I saw Logan on opening night and brought most of those points up with my friends there, and they were freezing me out and not really agreeing.

I kinda understand them. I find it pretty annoying when a friend you've gone to the movies with pick it apart too much in that moment. I need to digest new movies, and I don't want someone else's plot-by-plot analysis affecting my feelings too much. Especially if it's negative. Such a buzz kill if you've gone out of the theater with a positive feeling. I usually save the analysis for the next couple of days.

[Crispy]

I kinda understand them. I find it pretty annoying when a friend you've gone to the movies with pick it apart too much in that moment. I need to digest new movies, and I don't want someone else's plot-by-plot analysis affecting my feelings too much. Especially if it's negative. Such a buzz kill if you've gone out of the theater with a positive feeling. I usually save the analysis for the next couple of days.

So, we probably shouldn't see movies together then because one of the things I love most about seeing a film with someone is discussing it, almost ad nauseum, immediately after.

[Crispy]

Lost City of Z
B-
This film is based on the real life of early 20th century British explorer Percy Fawcett's expeditions in South America to find evidence of a hidden civilization that predated the European civilizations. It's slow paced and the dialogue gets a bit cringy in places. The Robert Pattinson character felt underwritten, as were Percy's two youngest kids. However, I felt like it did a pretty good job of showing motivation for the three main characters. Tom "Spider-Man" Holland as Percy's elder son was a wonderful surprise, and he was maybe my favorite thing about the third act. It was shot beautifully, and I like the ambiguous ending given that the real explorers did mysteriously disappear.


Jerry Before Seinfeld (Netflix)
C+
Jerry basically does an autobiographical stand-up special with a few filmed cut-aways. I applaud him for trying something different with the format of a traditional comedy stand-up routine special. However, it didn't keep my interest even though it's only about an hour long. It took me three viewings to get through. I'd say this is more for hardcore Seinfeld fans and not just for someone looking to see a full comedy routine like with a Louis C.K. or Dave Chapelle special.


Lady Gaga: Five Foot Two (Netflix)
B+
In the hands of a slightly better director this could've been one of the all time great music documentaries. (For an example of perfection in this genre see HBO's The Defiant Ones). The weakness in this doc lies in the feeble narrative structure and the anti-climactic ending of her Superbowl 51 half-time performance. Gaga is a savvy self promoter, and this doc is no exception. She's shown being vulnerable, but only to a degree. Gaga strategically talks to her "fashion team" about how she wants to tone down the glam for her next promo tour whilst she is topless. (Get it?) She talks a lot about her ex-fiancee and the emotional pain of that break up, but never once is the man she's currently dating shown or mentioned. She mentions Madonna's beef with her twice, but not once is the Perez Hilton feud discussed. She is clearly someone suffering from a level of anxiety and stress that would benefit from therapy, but not once is anxiety or mental health treatment ever mentioned in the doc. (However, a place people can go to seek help & info for "anxiety" is mentioned in the credits.) So this doc is a curated vulnerability and not as "raw" a look at her life as it would lead you to believe. The best and most emotionally authentic scene in this doc comes around the 34 minute mark when Gaga and her father visit her grandmother and play her the album's finished mix of the title track, "Joanne." If you don't know the story behind Joanne, I won't spoil it for you. I suggest you watch the doc to find out, as it is a truly emotional story and my favorite part of the whole doc.


Naked (Netflix)
D
Marlon Wayans stars in a comedy based on the same premise as the classic Bill Murray film Groundhog’s Day. The difference here is Wayan’s is repeating the same hour, not day, before his wedding and wakes up naked in an elevator with no memory of how he got there. The premise sounds half-way interesting, and it was enough to fool me into thinking it might be entertaining, but don’t forget this is a Marlon Wayans film, and as such it is horrible. Horrible.


Incredible Jessica James (Netflix)
C
The writing is good in parts, eye-roll and cringy in others, but the direction is mediocre throughout. It stars former Daily Show correspondent Jessica Williams, who is not as good an actress as you’d have hoped. Chris O’Doud saves the film from being a total waste of time.


War Machine (Netflix)
C+
Brad Pitt stars as a modern day US general in Afghanistan in this film based on a book by a former Rolling Stone journalist. It’s not very engaging or entertaining, but it makes a very good argument about the ineffectiveness of counter-insurgency and how absolutely insane it is that the USA ignores this fact in the war in Afghanistan.


Gold
B
Matthew McConaughey does his best Charlize Theron and tries to look ugly, i.e. fat and bald, for this role as a loveable loser. Bryce Dallas Howard does a decent job as the underwritten love interest. But the male co-star just wasn’t charismatic enough. The actor playing Mike Acosta was adequate, but the roll called for someone even MORE intriguing and captivating than McConaughy, and this guy just didn’t have it. Also the real life story behind the three geologists who managed to con big mining businesses and investment firms out of billions of dollars was way more interesting than the actual movie.


Sing!
B
Basically just an excuse to get kids to want to see a bunch of pop songs sung by animated characters. However, the performances are good and the humor and pacing are all there, too. Not bad as far as gimmick films go.

[Volta]

Gaga's documentary was .. ok.
The thing that surprised me really was the amount of time she spends with her family.. her entire family. I liked those parts.

The second thing was how relaxed she was for the biggest performance of her life. I guess I'm more ritualistic about things that are a big deal in my life. But she's just running around, "hey, Donatella is here.. send her back!!! My friend battling cancer, send her on back! Send everyone back." I think that is a superpower really. Nerves of steel. I in that position would probably be like.. don't talk to me, I need to save my voice and my energy. Don't eff up my vibe. But that's why she is a superstar and I am just a .. yea.

Also just how much pain she is in. And anyone can relate to it because she acknowledges that without having money she doesn't know how people in her position can handle it.

I am going to have to re-listen to an album I did not like very much, Joanne. I had no idea it was about her aunt and I only really like the first single. But the recording process, I liked what she was doing. So I have to give that album another go.


The rest is just bits and bobs. The mythic creature that is Gaga is really demystified. I just imagined things in her life would be so much more GLAM. And it's the opposite. It's very very low key. And in some way, I think that's what she was going for. The lady that wore a meat dress lives a pretty mundane life.. even when recording and album, promoting it, and then gearing up for the performance of her life.

And that's kind of what makes it so good and gives it any kind of shock factor.

It's hard for me to LOVE it because I am not her biggest fan.

[Crispy]

Gaga's documentary was .. ok...
...I am going to have to re-listen to an album I did not like very much, Joanne. I had no idea it was about her aunt and I only really like the first single. But the recording process, I liked what she was doing. So I have to give that album another go...

I'm a casual Gaga fan myself, I wouldn't consider myself a Lil' Monster. But I do think she's one of the most talented and influential artists of this generation. Definitely give Joanne another try. It's her strongest overall album since her debut, IMHO. Her other albums have maybe two songs tops that I really like. But Fame and Joanne I think are 80% solid material. "Million Reasons" and "Joanne" pure heart and emotion; two of her strongest songs ever IMHO. "A-Yo" is solid pop anthem. "Perfect Illusion" is a solid broken hearted pop dance track. "Diamond Heart" and "Hey Girl" are also solid tracks.

[Volta]

The recording process and actually paying attention to the lyrics.. I'm really impressed by it. She's a very good songwriter. I love her little brown piano she was using to compose a couple songs.