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Thread: News and Other Nonsense

  1. #1786
    I am not a loony beanstew's Avatar
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    A wonderful story:

    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

  2. #1787
    I am not a loony beanstew's Avatar
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    'It was brutal': Ross Edgley completes 157-day swim around Britain
    As he hobbled on to dry land for the first time in 157 days, having become the first swimmer to circumnavigate the whole of Great Britain, Ross Edgley’s first thought was not for food, a warm blanket, or a hug. “It was so strange,” he laughed. “I was just really worried I was gonna stack it and face-plant the floor.”

    Hundreds of spectators gathered at Margate harbour on Sunday morning to cheer the 33-year-old as he emerged from the sea after completing a record 1,791-mile swim around the mainland. Thankfully, he was not made to do a lap of honour.

    “I got out of the water and thought this is gonna be amazing, I’ll run in like Baywatch,” he told the Guardian shortly after completing the feat. “The reality is that I’m really chubby now, really hairy, and I had a pink tow buoy. When I made it to dry land I was just relieved I didn’t fully fall over.”

    Edgley left the Kent town on 1 June and has endured 37 jellyfish stings, a rotting tongue, suspected torn shoulder and an open neck wound from chaffing that even his 3kg of Vaseline could not heal.

    Having swum 12 hours a day for almost the distance of London to Moscow (1,796 miles), the strongman admitted feeling a bit wobbly as he was accompanied for the final kilometre by 300 fellow swimmers before being reunited with family and friends. “I just got really choked up and had to put my goggles on because I was starting to cry. It was amazing,” he said, after a warm shower and pizza.
    Edgley, from Grantham in Lincolnshire, entered the Guinness Book of World Records on 14 August, 74 days into the challenge, for the longest staged sea swim. But he knew the record would only stand if he completed his journey to Margate. Eighty-three days later, he did just that.
    In his 23 weeks at sea – he slept and ate on a catamaran, along with his three-man team – the darkest moment came during a night swim in the treacherous Gulf of Corryvreckan whirlpool, off the west coast of Scotland. A giant jellyfish attached itself for 30 minutes to Edgley’s face in the middle of the world’s third-largest whirlpool: “The sting was searing into my skin; it wrapped around my goggles. This fat, giant jellyfish of Scotland and its tentacle had been slapping me in the face for half an hour through a giant whirlpool. It was brutal but you couldn’t stop.”

    There were other dark moments, like the open wounds that “fused” to the bedsheets, but any temptation to quit or pull a sickie was quickly dismissed as any lost time would prove fatal to the challenge.

    The best moment, he said, came in the Bristol channel, where he was accompanied for five miles by a female Minke whale that apparently mistook him for an injured seal. “For all the jellyfish stings and the hardship, you get a moment like that which you’ll only ever get if you spend 12 hours swimming in the sea every day for 157 days,” he said. “It was amazing. But it didn’t end up coming to Margate – I hope she writes to me.”

    To fuel his bonkers feat, Edgley consumed between 10,000 and 15,000 calories each day – up to six times the male average – and wolfed down pizza, pasta, rice pudding, 610 bananas and 314 cans of Red Bull, which backed his challenge. His mother’s homemade cheesecake was “hard to get out on the boat,” he said, and now on dry land he has a whole summer of barbecues to catch up on.

    The Loughborough University graduate has form when it comes to attempting the outlandish. In recent years he’s climbed the height of Everest on a rope in one sitting, run a marathon while dragging a Mini behind him, and swum 100km (62 miles) in the Caribbean in just 32 hours while attached to a 100lb (45.4kg) log.The swim around Great Britain was the toughest of them all though.
    “Hands down the hardest thing on so many levels: physical, mental. I felt a fatigue that I’ve never felt before. The neurotransmitters, chemical signals in the brain, were just like ‘what are you doing?’.”

    As for what is next, Edgley just wants to get warm and dry. He will learn to use his feet again – “the tendons and ligaments in my feet have basically been asleep all summer” – and readjust to the mundanities of everyday life (he got an email reminder about paying his car tax while out at sea).

    There will be another extraordinary challenge before long, he said, adding that the next feat might make circumnavigating the coast of Great Britain “look a bit tame”.
    What an incredible achievement! I love people that do completely insane feats of endurance like this for no reason other than because they can.
    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

  3. #1788
    I am not a loony beanstew's Avatar
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    Nuns Accused Of Embezzling Half A Million Dollars From Catholic School To Gamble In Vegas
    LOS ANGELES, Calif. (CBSDFW.COM/CBS Local) – Two longtime nuns at St. James Catholic School in Torrance allegedly embezzled as much as $500,000 in tuition, fees and donations, perhaps spending some of the money on trips and gambling at casinos while telling parents the school was operating on a shoestring budget, officials and parents told the Long Beach Press-Telegram.

    Bank records show Sister Mary Margaret Kreuper and Sister Lana Lang were embezzling from the school for at least 10 years, the Press-Telegram reports.


    Kreuper, who retired as the school’s principal earlier in 2018, handled all tuition checks and fees. She allegedly withheld some checks and deposited them into a secret account only she and Chang were aware of.

    While investigators found the two gave some of the stolen money back to the school, the rest was used for their “personal gain.”

    They kept up the charade, telling parents that the school was operating on a tight budget, all the while using the embezzled funds for lavish vacations and trips to the casino.

    The report claims the archdiocese and the church are not pursuing criminal charges after the nuns said they’re sorry.
    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

  4. #1789
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    Venlo WW2 explosive: Don't lie down on bombs, Dutch warned
    The Dutch public have been warned it is "strictly ill-advised to lie down on a bomb", after a man did just that for about three hours.

    The man came across an unexploded World War Two device while gardening in the town of Venlo on Wednesday.

    When it started whistling he covered it with his body, apparently trying to limit the damage.

    Nearby residents were evacuated and the device proved harmless. The man was treated for symptoms of hypothermia.

    The device was variously described as a grenade or a shell.
    'Delicate position'

    Security services spokeswoman Veronique Klaassen told AFP news agency the man had covered the device with sand but when it started whistling he put his body over it.

    She said he dared not move and rang emergency services on his mobile phone.

    Ms Klaassen told AFP it appeared the defence ministry bomb disposal team must have come from some distance away as it did not arrive until about 01:00 on Thursday (midnight GMT) to free the man from his "delicate position".

    Surrounding areas were evacuated, affecting more than 100 people, but it transpired that the device no longer had any explosive material and they were allowed to return to their homes. What caused the whistling remains a mystery.

    The man was taken to hospital suffering from the extreme winter cold.

    Ms Klaassen said: "It is strictly ill-advised to lie down on a bomb. The best thing to do if you come across an explosive device is keep your distance and call the police."
    Some sound advice there.
    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

  5. #1790
    Alt Universe CliqueMember Spikey's Avatar
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    ^ It is a known method of self sacrifice to severely limit the blast radius and save everyone around you. That dude must be a veteran or have military knowledge, he tried to save his family when the thing started hissing. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falling_on_a_grenade
    "Replies are a combination of nonsense, unrelated comments and inside jokes"‎

  6. #1791
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    I know it's tangentially Trump-related, but it feels more Nonsense to me...

    What are you all thinking about the Bezos thing? I think since the National Inquirer uses AWS, he should pull the plug. Can he really take them down? Or is this just one blow against them, they'll take a little break, and restart their nefarious catch-and-kill with a side of blackmail business?

    If we were lucky and they go out of business, maybe Trump can make the wall out of back issues.

  7. #1792
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    Oh this is going to be such a shit show. SUCH a shitshow. I love it. It's salacious, but interesting in its own right. And the jokes write themselves. Alas, the best I can come up with is "A peck of pickled Peckers."

    This is pretty good, but I think given more time before going to press, they could have done better. I do like that there's so many meanings to it.


  8. #1793
    a succulent Chinese meal lacuna's Avatar
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    Just looked it up. I... uh... what?! I wouldn’t mind the National Enquirer or any tabloid going down, but it’s not like Bezos/Amazon is so upstanding. Ugh, schadenfreude just isn’t my thing. I also don’t want see any of these people’s dicks.

  9. #1794
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    Grand Canyon visitors may have been exposed to radioactive material for two decades

    The National Park Service was storing three buckets full of highly radioactive uranium in the visitor area of its Grand Canyon museum for nearly two decades, according to the park safety manager.

    The 5-gallon buckets were located near the taxidermy exhibit, and one was so full of uranium ore that it couldn’t be sealed, according to Elston “Swede” Stephenson, a manager who sent a rogue email to all Park Service employees earlier this month, AZ Central reports.

    Tour groups, often including children, sometimes spent 30 minutes or more near the taxidermy exhibit for demonstrations. Using standards set by the US Nuclear Regulatory Commission, Stephenson calculated that children could have been exposed to doses of radiation above federal safety standards within three seconds. Adults could have been exposed to dangerous doses in under 30 seconds.

    ...

    The buckets were discovered by accident in March 2018 when the hobbyist teenage son of a park employee brought a Geiger counter into the taxidermy-collection room.

    ...

    Technicians wearing dishwashing gloves used a mop handle to move them into a truck and drive them offsite, he told AZ Central.

    According to Stephenson, the ore was dumped into Orphan Mine, a disused uranium mine two miles from Grand Canyon Village, a cluster of hotels and shops where many visitors to the park pass through. But for unknown reasons, the empty buckets were brought back to the museum. They were then rediscovered inside the museum in November 2018, according to AZ Central, when they set off geiger counters brought by US Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) inspectors who arrived to follow up on a report filed by Stephenson.
    what the actual fuck

  10. #1795
    strike every chord that you feel Owen's Avatar
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    Holy fucking shit that needs to result in some severe punishment.

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