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Thread: News and Other Nonsense

  1. #1771
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pb View Post
    ^Those two deserve eachother.
    Which two? Why?

  2. #1772
    I am not a loony beanstew's Avatar
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    Never sleeping again.
    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

  3. #1773
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    This poor guy


  4. #1774
    Senior Member fluteoftheloon's Avatar
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    Anyone else invested in this poor raccoon's odyssey?

    Stuck on the building next door for 2 days without food or water, gets shooed off and flees up another building.

    Last edited by fluteoftheloon; 06-12-2018 at 10:53 PM.

  5. #1775
    Let them eat cheese flan Nancy's Avatar
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    He made it to the top and he's been rescued!

    Raccoon triumphs over skyscraper in a climb that captivated the internet, celebrates with cat food

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/...=.6a29f15c1220

  6. #1776
    I am not a loony beanstew's Avatar
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    Lions eat 'rhino poachers' on South African game reserve
    At least two suspected rhino poachers have been mauled to death and eaten by lions on a South African game reserve, officials say.

    Rangers discovered the remains of two, possibly three, people in a lion enclosure in the Sibuya reserve, near the south-east town of Kenton-on-Sea.

    A high-powered rifle and an axe were also found.

    There has been an rise in poaching in Africa in recent years, to feed growing demand for rhino horn in parts of Asia.

    In China, Vietnam and elsewhere, rhino horn is believed to have aphrodisiac qualities.

    Sibuya reserve owner Nick Fox said in a statement on the reserve's Facebook page that the suspected poachers entered the reserve late on Sunday night or early on Monday morning.

    "They strayed into a pride of lions - it's a big pride so they didn't have too much time," Mr Fox told AFP news agency.

    "We're not sure how many there were - there's not much left of them."
    Good to see nature dishing out some karmic justice.
    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

  7. #1777
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    Kids, this is why if you're an international war-mongerer, you should keep a low key presence online



  8. #1778
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    This is amazing. It took a turn I wasn't expecting and was worth reading. From what I can gather, it's 100% real.



    first image


  9. #1779
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    Spiders blamed after broken siren played creepy nursery rhymes randomly at night to UK townsfolk
    Floating in on the wind, yet again, the sound of It's Raining, It's Pouring being sung by a child on the creepiest siren in Britain. The Ipswich Star reports on what one local described as "something from a horror movie." I've embedded a recording made by one alarmed local at the top of this post so you know what they were hearing.

    A tormented mother living in Bramford Road with her two young children has been woken on an almost nightly basis by a tinny, distant rendition of ‘It’s Raining, It’s Pouring’. She said the threatening undertone of the song had left her frightened and questioning whether she was imagining things. After months of torment, she finally reported the unusual complaint to Ipswich Borough Council.

    The next time it happened, they scrambled workers to her address and she helped them track down the unnerving music to a loudspeaker installed at "an industrial premises on the neighbouring Farthing Road estate [business park]." The council subsequently issued a press statement, which follows.

    “This is unique in our experience – it was difficult to believe a nursery rhyme would be playing in the middle of the night.

    “But we do take all complaints extremely seriously and asked the residents who contacted us to let us know when it was actually playing so we could investigate properly.

    “We took a call around midnight and immediately went to the Bramford Road area to find out more - we did hear the nursery rhyme playing from an industrial premises and it sounded very eerie at that time of night. We appreciate that people living nearby would find it quite spooky.”

    The premises' operators blamed spiders.
    “The sound is only supposed to act as a deterrent for opportunistic thieves that come onto our property, and it’s designed only to be heard by people on our private land. We are now aware of the problem - the motion sensors were being triggered by spiders crawling across the lenses of our cameras and it looks like we’ve had it turned up too loudly. We’ve spoken to the resident who brought it to our attention and adjusted it so this shouldn’t happen again.”

    The BBC adds that it had gone on for months.

    For several months she would hear the rhyme, which would go away only to come again another day.

    The woman, who did not wish to be named, said: "The first time I heard it it was the most terrifying thing ever, I went cold and felt sick, and thought 'what on earth was that?'"




    Sleep well.
    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

  10. #1780
    I am not a loony beanstew's Avatar
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    This needs to go somewhere as it is AMAZING so here will do:



    So understated.
    Last edited by beanstew; 10-16-2018 at 05:57 PM.
    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

  11. #1781
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    Is that real? What kind of phallic uncanny valley bullshit was that?

    I'm gonna need some Italian Americans to NOT act like tacky, gauche assholes this year. Say it with me people: subtle. SUBTLE.

  12. #1782
    Strangerer Rum 509's Avatar
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    Wow! Think of how much better I would write with a pen like that! The eloquent letters, the diary entries, the TO DO LISTS!!

  13. #1783
    I am not a loony beanstew's Avatar
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    A wonderful story:

    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

  14. #1784
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    'It was brutal': Ross Edgley completes 157-day swim around Britain
    As he hobbled on to dry land for the first time in 157 days, having become the first swimmer to circumnavigate the whole of Great Britain, Ross Edgley’s first thought was not for food, a warm blanket, or a hug. “It was so strange,” he laughed. “I was just really worried I was gonna stack it and face-plant the floor.”

    Hundreds of spectators gathered at Margate harbour on Sunday morning to cheer the 33-year-old as he emerged from the sea after completing a record 1,791-mile swim around the mainland. Thankfully, he was not made to do a lap of honour.

    “I got out of the water and thought this is gonna be amazing, I’ll run in like Baywatch,” he told the Guardian shortly after completing the feat. “The reality is that I’m really chubby now, really hairy, and I had a pink tow buoy. When I made it to dry land I was just relieved I didn’t fully fall over.”

    Edgley left the Kent town on 1 June and has endured 37 jellyfish stings, a rotting tongue, suspected torn shoulder and an open neck wound from chaffing that even his 3kg of Vaseline could not heal.

    Having swum 12 hours a day for almost the distance of London to Moscow (1,796 miles), the strongman admitted feeling a bit wobbly as he was accompanied for the final kilometre by 300 fellow swimmers before being reunited with family and friends. “I just got really choked up and had to put my goggles on because I was starting to cry. It was amazing,” he said, after a warm shower and pizza.
    Edgley, from Grantham in Lincolnshire, entered the Guinness Book of World Records on 14 August, 74 days into the challenge, for the longest staged sea swim. But he knew the record would only stand if he completed his journey to Margate. Eighty-three days later, he did just that.
    In his 23 weeks at sea – he slept and ate on a catamaran, along with his three-man team – the darkest moment came during a night swim in the treacherous Gulf of Corryvreckan whirlpool, off the west coast of Scotland. A giant jellyfish attached itself for 30 minutes to Edgley’s face in the middle of the world’s third-largest whirlpool: “The sting was searing into my skin; it wrapped around my goggles. This fat, giant jellyfish of Scotland and its tentacle had been slapping me in the face for half an hour through a giant whirlpool. It was brutal but you couldn’t stop.”

    There were other dark moments, like the open wounds that “fused” to the bedsheets, but any temptation to quit or pull a sickie was quickly dismissed as any lost time would prove fatal to the challenge.

    The best moment, he said, came in the Bristol channel, where he was accompanied for five miles by a female Minke whale that apparently mistook him for an injured seal. “For all the jellyfish stings and the hardship, you get a moment like that which you’ll only ever get if you spend 12 hours swimming in the sea every day for 157 days,” he said. “It was amazing. But it didn’t end up coming to Margate – I hope she writes to me.”

    To fuel his bonkers feat, Edgley consumed between 10,000 and 15,000 calories each day – up to six times the male average – and wolfed down pizza, pasta, rice pudding, 610 bananas and 314 cans of Red Bull, which backed his challenge. His mother’s homemade cheesecake was “hard to get out on the boat,” he said, and now on dry land he has a whole summer of barbecues to catch up on.

    The Loughborough University graduate has form when it comes to attempting the outlandish. In recent years he’s climbed the height of Everest on a rope in one sitting, run a marathon while dragging a Mini behind him, and swum 100km (62 miles) in the Caribbean in just 32 hours while attached to a 100lb (45.4kg) log.The swim around Great Britain was the toughest of them all though.
    “Hands down the hardest thing on so many levels: physical, mental. I felt a fatigue that I’ve never felt before. The neurotransmitters, chemical signals in the brain, were just like ‘what are you doing?’.”

    As for what is next, Edgley just wants to get warm and dry. He will learn to use his feet again – “the tendons and ligaments in my feet have basically been asleep all summer” – and readjust to the mundanities of everyday life (he got an email reminder about paying his car tax while out at sea).

    There will be another extraordinary challenge before long, he said, adding that the next feat might make circumnavigating the coast of Great Britain “look a bit tame”.
    What an incredible achievement! I love people that do completely insane feats of endurance like this for no reason other than because they can.
    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

  15. #1785
    I am not a loony beanstew's Avatar
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    Nuns Accused Of Embezzling Half A Million Dollars From Catholic School To Gamble In Vegas
    LOS ANGELES, Calif. (CBSDFW.COM/CBS Local) – Two longtime nuns at St. James Catholic School in Torrance allegedly embezzled as much as $500,000 in tuition, fees and donations, perhaps spending some of the money on trips and gambling at casinos while telling parents the school was operating on a shoestring budget, officials and parents told the Long Beach Press-Telegram.

    Bank records show Sister Mary Margaret Kreuper and Sister Lana Lang were embezzling from the school for at least 10 years, the Press-Telegram reports.


    Kreuper, who retired as the school’s principal earlier in 2018, handled all tuition checks and fees. She allegedly withheld some checks and deposited them into a secret account only she and Chang were aware of.

    While investigators found the two gave some of the stolen money back to the school, the rest was used for their “personal gain.”

    They kept up the charade, telling parents that the school was operating on a tight budget, all the while using the embezzled funds for lavish vacations and trips to the casino.

    The report claims the archdiocese and the church are not pursuing criminal charges after the nuns said they’re sorry.
    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

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