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Thread: reasons to be childfree for you and me

  1. #16
    the reichenbach hero fox in socks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Canodiva1 View Post
    I like my nieces and nephews well enough, it's fun to watch them grow up and they're good kids. But I still have no desire to have one of my own.
    its funny. i get the "but youre so good with kids" thing. i mean, im "good" i guess because i dont have to take them home. its like a new toy. seriously. if i play with kids too long, i get bored. plus the negatives dont make it "all worth it" to me. im missing out on some stuff, true. but im also missing out on some stuff by not being a man, by not being a doctor, by not living in south africa, but not eating meat, etc. its not something i miss.

    i must say, i get less family pressure about kids since my sis in law had one and less pressure from co-workers now that i stopped working in small town USA.

  2. #17
    No desire ever, ever, ever. I always said if I changed my mind I'd adopt because it's socially responsible. Plus I never wanted to pass on my genetic legacy to what would likely turn out to be a three headed fish baby with a high risk of developing either cancer or heart problems.

    I'm actually going to ask about the Essure procedure when I go in for my exam in a few months. I'd like to have it done around Christmas so I have a few days off to recover (though it sounds like that won't be necessary, I'm told is pretty much pain free). I'm just excited that, now that my doctor is on board with the idea that me + kids = not going to happen, I won't get bingoed when I make my request.

  3. #18
    there is no home without you hollerskates's Avatar
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    i just read a bit about essure and found out my doctor is essure certified! i will definitely be asking her about this at my next appointment.

  4. #19
    bubble in a soundwave sara's Avatar
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    I'm in the "never desired" them club. I'm more of a pet person. I see a cute puppy or cat and squeal over it like people do with babies.
    My best friend and his wife are new parents now and he's definitely got that new identity that comes along with being a parent. My cousin did the same thing. I never really understood why, for some people, having a kid immediately changes your identity from person to parent.

  5. #20
    Senior Member ontheindianside's Avatar
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    I just don't really like kids - whether they're 14 months or 14 years old. And I also like my freedom.

    I have no idea how my mother feels about it (I think she has her suspicions, but she would never encourage me unless I were married, which certainly isn't happening any time soon - if ever). But I'm lucky enough to have two sisters, at least one of whom definitely wants kids (and is already married), so the grandkid burden is spread around.

  6. #21
    bombshell by trade eurotrash's Avatar
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    I thought for a long time that I'd have one. Then I realized I don't want to pass on my particular set of health-related genetics. So I thought I'd adopt. And then as I was ending a relationship with someone who really wants to be a father, I realized that I was trying too hard. I have absolutely no pressure from friends, family, or society to have a baby. Now I can't even imagine it being something I ever truly wanted. It was some misguided idea of "having it all" feminism.

    Now I'm with a partner who's equally disinterested in children and it's so fucking freeing to just not think about it anymore. We're incorporating and starting a business which is our version of marriage and baby, and I'm absolutely thrilled. THIS is what I wanted.

    Besides, my friends are at the breeding stage. If I really need to cuddle an infant, I can borrow one of theirs for a while.


  7. #22
    Vilest of the vile Homogenik's Avatar
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    i'm gay and I'm 30. Not saying it can't happen but, well, ain't exactly the winning combination.

  8. #23
    skeptic. Chalk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sara View Post
    I'm in the "never desired" them club. I'm more of a pet person. I see a cute puppy or cat and squeal over it like people do with babies.
    Me too. I've never felt the desire to have a baby, but I miss having a pet. I really want a dog, (or a cat) but it's not possible for me at the moment. However, I have plenty of friends with cats (and a dog) that I can cuddle with whenever the cats let me. The dog is always happy.

    eta: See, I like to talk more about animals, than a potential spawn.

  9. #24
    bubble in a soundwave sara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chalk View Post
    Me too. I've never felt the desire to have a baby, but I miss having a pet. I really want a dog, (or a cat) but it's not possible for me at the moment. However, I have plenty of friends with cats (and a dog) that I can cuddle with whenever the cats let me. The dog is always happy.

    eta: See, I like to talk more about animals, than a potential spawn.
    Me too. I was talking with my cousin on FB chat one night and all she did was talk about her kid, so I started going "oh! the cat just did the cutest thing. let me tell you about it!".

  10. #25
    I'm a sensible girl GirlForPele's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy View Post
    Never had the desire, and also I think there are too many people in the world as it is.
    This. IF I were to have children, and that's probably not going to happen, I'd just adopt. So many children need homes. But pregnancy and childbirth? No thanks.
    When pianos try to be guitars...out of my black and white world

  11. #26
    I stand no chance of growing up Tulip In A Cup's Avatar
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    I agree with all the reasons above but one other is I think pregnant bellies are ugly and gross and I don't find pregnancy or giving birth to a living thing beautiful or a miracle like a lot of people.

  12. #27
    waited with a glacier's patience Churumbela's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hollerskates View Post
    i just read a bit about essure and found out my doctor is essure certified! i will definitely be asking her about this at my next appointment.
    I would really like to look into this, but my Gyn is an ARNP, not an actual doctor. I know we have one doctor in the Women's Health department who can do them, but I don't want to have to start going to a whole new Gyn (who is a man).

    I'd love to have it done, though; maybe people at work would stop bingoing me. I'm so tired of hearing, "Oh, you'll change your mind when you get older!" I'm freaking 30. If my biological clock was gonna freak out, I'm assuming it would have started ticking audibly by now.
    I am the beginning. The end. The one that is many.

  13. #28
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    I don't think birth or pregnancy is disgusting.. and life itself is pretty miraculous to me.

    But yeah.. similar story.

    No desire beyond playing games like MASH with my sisters as a child and discussing how many kids we'd have when we grew up and what their names would be.

    I have three beautiful nieces, all of whom I love dearly.

    Nearly 7 billion people and counting.

    Handling myself is challenging enough, thanks though.
    Last edited by C33; 06-21-2010 at 12:33 AM.

  14. #29
    waited with a glacier's patience Churumbela's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by c33 View Post
    I don't think birth or pregnancy is disgusting.. and life itself is pretty miraculous to me.
    Well, that's the beauty of opinions, isn't it? I think pregnancy (and pregnant women I've known have said as much) can be pretty darn gross. I mean "mucus plug." That says quite enough right there.
    I am the beginning. The end. The one that is many.

  15. #30
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    I'm not saying I wanna watch a marathon of birthing videos or something ; ) I was in the delivery room when my first niece was born and I stayed away until the very end. And if tomorrow I woke up a pregnant female whose water just broke, I would not be pleased for a multitude of reasons, I'm sure!

    But from my perspective, I'm not disgusted by pregnancy or birth. I don't expect everyone to share my point of view.
    Last edited by C33; 06-21-2010 at 01:19 AM. Reason: apparently I wanted edit this post 300 TIMES!!!

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