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Thread: Depression/Anxiety

  1. #1066
    Senior Member CC's Avatar
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    After a very distressing fight with my mother around christmas (and some very helpful comments on my "misery post" here thank you!),
    I started looking for some self-help books and I thought some of them might be interesting to people here as well.

    My mother's behaviour had some aspects of a narcisstic parent, yet all the material I found on that did not reflect my experience very well.
    I found the concept of "immature parents" much more suitable for my situation. It is more about emotionally self-absorbed people in general.
    Their behaviour is not toxic in the same way as of a fully evolved narcissist, I would say.

    Lindsay C. Gibson: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents.
    I was shocked to find my life experiences described in there - it was a relief as well. It helps to understand more, how an emotional
    immature person functions and how you can get to manage the situation as an adult.

    In addition to this, I found this one
    Susan Forward: Mothers who cant love to be even more helpful concerning exercises.
    It is focused on mother-daughter-relationships, though.
    It depicts 5 types of mothers (narcisstic, enmeshed, controlling, neglecting and in need of mothering),
    so it is a bit more differentiated than the Gibson book.
    Last edited by CC; 02-12-2018 at 09:42 AM.

  2. #1067
    Sleeps to dream entropy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CC View Post
    Lindsay C. Gibson: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents.
    I was shocked to find my life experiences described in there - it was a relief as well. It helps to understand more, how an emotional
    immature person functions and how you can get to manage the situation as an adult.
    .
    I got this book about six months ago! It's been extremely helpful!!!

  3. #1068
    .
    Last edited by BrotherNamedErised; 06-06-2018 at 02:54 PM.

  4. #1069
    Senior Member CC's Avatar
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    I am so sorry that you are struggeling like this!
    It is so difficult to be patient in phases like these.

    Someone else wrote this on another forum: My heart is a renewable raw material.
    I hope your shattered heart will grow back to its full bloom soon!

  5. #1070
    Has anyone successfully weaned off of Effexor XR? I have an appointment with my doctor to get started on a tapering plan, but wanted to know if anyone here has been through it. I’m a little scared. Or maybe a lot scared.

    THe reason I want to get off of it is because of the extreme fatigue. It’s just too much. I want to sleep alllllllllll the time and I have zero motivation or energy.

  6. #1071
    Senior Member Naid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JayPeaches View Post
    Has anyone successfully weaned off of Effexor XR? I have an appointment with my doctor to get started on a tapering plan, but wanted to know if anyone here has been through it. I’m a little scared. Or maybe a lot scared.

    THe reason I want to get off of it is because of the extreme fatigue. It’s just too much. I want to sleep alllllllllll the time and I have zero motivation or energy.
    Hi JayPeaches, I'm not familiar with Effexor XR but I successfully weaned off an SSRI, plus anti-psychotic medication. I did a quick google search and it sounds like the withdrawal symptoms can be similar.

    Fatigue was a real problem for me with the ssri medication - the exhaustion was devastating, it was so hard to move and I felt like my brain was foggy all the time. I had serious memory problems, struggled to think straight etc. Since coming off the medication, all of that has slowly righted itself. As the medication left my system I felt like I was 'waking up'. It took a long, long time before it felt like my brain was working properly again but it's been 3 years now and I'm definitely feeling better. I still have some rough days, but they're easier than they were (if that makes sense?)

    I can understand feeling worried about coming off the medication, I was terrified and I'm not going to lie to you, I found it tough. Definitely taper, try not to rush and try to stay focused on the end goal of being free of the side effects. Take good care of yourself.

    I know the medications I was on are a little different but I'm here if you have any questions, I'm happy to try to help if I can

  7. #1072
    Gone Andromeda grapefruit_is_winning's Avatar
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    Hey guys. So I'm about to move forward on a prescription for Effexor, which I've never been willing to try in the past. If you've had personal experience with the drug, would you mind sharing your thoughts on it (the good, bad, and ugly)? I am very aware that individual results on this drug vary wildly, but I'm most curious to know:

    1) Did your weight change?
    2) Did you experience sleep issues or night sweats? (This is my biggest fear)
    3) Did you realize any benefit from it?
    4) If you also use cannabis, did you experience any issues combining them?

    I'm not anti-drug, but I have had super underwhelming experiences with anti-d's and anti-x's in the past. Prozac gave me auditory hallucinations (completely bizarre). Lexapro did zilch. Wellbutrin made me feel absolutely wonderful 48 hours after the first dose, then completely stopped working after three weeks, even after the psychiatrist tripled the dose. Another one that I don't remember made me feel obnoxiously hot all the time... like how I picture a woman in the throes of menopause might feel. Marijuana has been helpful recently, as it quickly shifts my frame of mind and helps me see the beauty in things when sobriety seems super dark, but of course it has its drawbacks too: next day brain fog and general sluggishness, poor memory, and occasional bouts of hyper insecurity and self-consciousness (which seems to be strain dependent). All that to say, I'm willing to try Effexor, despite its reputation for side effects and withdrawal issues, but I'm skeptical at best.

    Thanks!

  8. #1073
    So, I've been having a rough week and I wanted to share here. I hope no-one minds.

    My work schedule has been all over the place the past few weeks, which has resulted in bad eating, little sleep and my OCD acting up. Relationships in my workplace are tense for everyone due to the unpredictability of the work hours. My aunt, who has been like a second mother to me is in critical condition from cancer. I just learned that another beloved family member had a serious accident. And just yesterday, I made a completely innocuous Facebook post about disagreeing with a popular quote that was being passed around (in a respectful manner) only to receive a massive tirade of hate from someone. Normally it wouldn't make me feel rattled but it was so unwarranted and vile that I experienced a full-blown anxiety attack.

    Anyway, I'm kind of holed up at home right now watching sitcoms. I can't decide if I should call my therapist and schedule a meeting, but I'm feeling very overwhelmed right now and am not sure how to handle myself.

  9. #1074
    Gone Andromeda grapefruit_is_winning's Avatar
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    I'm sorry to hear all that; it sounds really rough and too much all at once for sure. Regarding the quote, fuck whoever went to town on Facebook. Buh BYE to that fool. Nobody needs that.

  10. #1075
    Senior Member CC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrotherNamedErised View Post
    So, I've been having a rough week and I wanted to share here. I hope no-one minds.

    My work schedule has been all over the place the past few weeks, which has resulted in bad eating, little sleep and my OCD acting up. Relationships in my workplace are tense for everyone due to the unpredictability of the work hours. My aunt, who has been like a second mother to me is in critical condition from cancer. I just learned that another beloved family member had a serious accident. And just yesterday, I made a completely innocuous Facebook post about disagreeing with a popular quote that was being passed around (in a respectful manner) only to receive a massive tirade of hate from someone. Normally it wouldn't make me feel rattled but it was so unwarranted and vile that I experienced a full-blown anxiety attack.

    Anyway, I'm kind of holed up at home right now watching sitcoms. I can't decide if I should call my therapist and schedule a meeting, but I'm feeling very overwhelmed right now and am not sure how to handle myself.
    So sorry to hear that you are not well and have been under distress for quite some time.
    Maybe calling your therapist would be a helpful thing - to have something to look forward to while living through that challenging time?
    I feel relieved sometimes, knowing that I have an appointment with somebody I can talk to, it helps me to better cope with the struggeling.
    You could cancel any meeting without regrets, if you should get better in the meantime.
    Best wishes to you!!!

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