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Thread: Depression/Anxiety

  1. #916
    imagine a future and be in it emanate's Avatar
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    That is horrifying! I am glad that you are okay and seeking help. Please take care.

  2. #917
    Senior Member CC's Avatar
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    Dear Volta, so sorry to hear what happened and I am glad, you got saved!
    I hope you have people around you who make you feel save and protected.
    Keeping you in my thoughts.

  3. #918
    entertaining in its outrage Volta's Avatar
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    Thanks for the support, everyone The last couple days, including this one, I've been getting kinda close to kinda trying to aim towards normal. I'll talk more about it on here later.. and I will PM boardmates who've been through this if only to figure out how to be less afraid of the irrational shit I mentioned.

    Here's a link to an article about it http://www.salemleader.com/main.asp?...ArticleID=9749
    Last edited by Volta; 12-08-2014 at 09:38 PM.
    Who said you were evil?
    My SAT scores.

  4. #919
    Volta I am so sorry that happened. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but I'm glad to hear you are getting help. Much love to you. (HUGS)

  5. #920
    i sail my ship on dry land Pirates, yeah!'s Avatar
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    Last edited by Pirates, yeah!; 01-23-2015 at 03:41 AM.

  6. #921
    these days just seem to crush me
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    so, i had a panic attack after running on the treadmill today. i have not had a panic attack (full blown like this one) since last april. i've been working out intensely since the beginning of this January (usually cardio and hand weights and trying to burn about 500-700 calories a day). no weight loss though, but i have not been eating really "healthy" enough either - i love my carbs. so it's been so discouraging for as hard as i 've been working out and not see any difference (except my pants aren't as tight...so yay?)

    however, this panic attack is really bizarre and now i'm a bit worried. i have not experienced anxiety like this from working out. i pushed myself hard today - had my heart rate up to about 180 though then did a cool down. but as i said, i have been pushing myself consistently but today was all running for about 35 minutes. maybe i did not do enough of a cool down. i felt fine until i got off the treadmill and the panic set in. i thought i was going to die right there in the gym. called the husband who helped calmed me down, begged that he come get me. it was scary.

    i should add that before last april when i started getting regular anxiety attacks, i use to be able to run a treadmill no problem. then it all went to hell and i stopped working out because i was 100% convinced i would die. i finally got "over" the anxiety and got back to exercising sporadically probably about last september/octobor-ish, then been intent since this january.

    anyone else get anxiety after working out?
    Last edited by Jessy; 01-25-2015 at 01:16 AM.

  7. #922
    Only knows desire. Perky Compson's Avatar
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    Man, January/February is absolutely the worst. I'm taking vitamin D supplements but the weather and lack of sunlight are making it borderline impossible to stay out of the hole.

  8. #923
    these days just seem to crush me
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kari View Post
    Yes. It's why I can't run. There is something about running that sends me straight into an anxiety attack. Not every time of course, but once in a while. I don't know if its the pain, or the heart rate going up that sends a signal to my brain, or what, but something about it triggers me. It doesn't happen to me with any other form of exercise. So bizarre.
    it sucks so much not that i am a great runner or anything, but it was something i was proud of. and i was feeling great because it had been so long since i ran 5k on a treadmill, and i still had lots of energy. but holy crap, i got off that treadmill and shouted out OH MY GOD, in the middle of the gym.

    i'll do some low intensity in the meantime because i'm terrified of that happening again.

  9. #924
    megaphone to my chest MikeEP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Purrky View Post
    Man, January/February is absolutely the worst. I'm taking vitamin D supplements but the weather and lack of sunlight are making it borderline impossible to stay out of the hole.
    i feel the same way. every year i tell myself i'm going to try to fight it, but i end up wanting to crawl into a hole, or at least a pile of blankets on my couch. it's seriously an effort to get up and come to work every day, every single morning, and i genuinely do enjoy my job.

  10. #925
    Only knows desire. Perky Compson's Avatar
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    Hugs to all you guys. At least we're almost out of January. I started hysterically crying in therapy today over my job hunt and I keep going to bed at 6am and waking up at 4pm.

  11. #926
    Senior Member wheretheorchidsgrow93's Avatar
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    *hugs* to everyone. Didn't realise there was a thread for this. I am just completely apathetic lately about every fucking thing. Just sleeping all day and doing very little else except when I have work (and that is shite)

    Gave up smoking last night though so that's something I guess
    I'm glad you're on my side, still.

  12. #927
    Here I go again!

    2015 is shaping up to be yet another shitty year, but, like 2014, it's my own doing. 2014 was so awful one every level - I was horribly depressed, continued to overeat and gain weight, work sucked because I was depressed, home sucked because I was depressed, I withdrew from friends, the list goes on. Once January 2015 hit, I didn't make any specific resolutions other than to not have a repeat of 2014. I re-engaged at work (fake it 'til ya make it!), gave up games on my iPhone (which I used to avoid life in general) and eventually gave up diet soda to help with my insomnia.

    Insomnia is still there, only now I'm fucking TIRED ALL DAY. And hyper-sensitive. And super depressed. And hating myself. And feeling unbelievably overwhelmed by dealing with two sick, elderly cats. And feeling overwhelmed at work because I'm starting to slack again. And feeling overwhelmed at home because I don't want to do anything to maintain the state of the house. And hating my body and entire self in every way imaginable.

    I don't know what to do. I have an appointment with my therapist today, I started seeing her again in January but so much shit is coming up during the sessions that even that leaves me feeling overwhelmed.

  13. #928
    Quote Originally Posted by Kari View Post
    Therapy is hard. My brother and I were joking that we need therapy so we can deal with therapy. It's kind of like pulling literally everything out of your closet and dumping it in the middle of the room, finding things you forgot about, and having to sort through it all. It feels completely impossible.
    It's so true and I was thinking this exact thing last night. If you're doing therapy right, it's probably going to get worse before it gets better. That's been my experience, anyway. Facing the truth is never easy, least of all the truth about yourself. But it's the only way to grow.

  14. #929
    Senior Member wheretheorchidsgrow93's Avatar
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    sending cuddles to everyone in this group. Thank you Damon for your rep comment :-*

    I've been having really bad days lately. Wondering if I should have my med dosage increased
    I'm glad you're on my side, still.

  15. #930
    a little more time, endless time Savannah's Avatar
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    I am barely keeping it together anymore. I had my first UTI last month and I'm pretty sure what I've been experiencing since is interstitial cystitis. It has blown a fuse in my mental health. First I was convinced I had kidney damage, then I thought it might be ovarian cancer--none of my urine or blood tests seem to indicate those things, thank god.

    My physical symptoms have gotten much better but I am a trainwreck. If I do manage to get some sleep, I'm still in a barely-functioning fugue and I never know when these spells of intense dread and misery are going to hit. My family are all dealing with their own physical and mental problems. Those of them who do have jobs or homes have their hands full taking care of the majority who can't stand on their own feet. My roommate/best friend has been supportive but she's at a loss how to help me and I think she just wants to avoid this black hole I've become. I went to see a psychiatrist on Friday but it turned out to be a residency program and I asked for a referral to a professional. They should be getting back to me tomorrow.

    I have never felt so weak and helpless and alone before. In all my years of depression (much milder than this), I have always avoided talking about how bad I feel, thinking that would make my social interaction issues even worse. I have always prioritized not looking needy. But I don't care anymore. I just want to feel human again. I've never wanted to start down the road of medications, but I don't care about that anymore either. I can't take feeling like this for another week, another month.
    Last edited by Savannah; 05-05-2015 at 01:43 PM.

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