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Thread: Depression/Anxiety

  1. #1096
    Get Out The Dark Adam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iamstilljamiepoo View Post
    Would you care to expand on that, Kari? I think my struggle with anxiety would be helped quite a bit by exercise, but as noted the exercise-induced anxiety is a barrier. How were you able to get through it?
    I need to check in here more often. I'm so sorry that so many of you are going through hell, but I promise that things can get better. Just be kind to yourself and be as selfish as you need to be in order to carve out a space where you can heal.

    As far as my panic attacks go, it's klonopin all the way. I never understood benzo abuse, but when I switched to Xanax once, I'd take it and my panic wouldn't budge. So I'd take another. Finally, id fall asleep. Four hours later, id need more. I called my doctor and told him I would bring in my Xanax and let them toss it if I could have my klonopin back. I know it doesn't apply to everyone, but I did understand then that I would've had to pop Xanax like candy to stay calm, leading to a high tolerance and possible abuse.

    Basically, this is how I understand it. For short-term situational and infrequent attacks, Xanax is good ( for like air travel, infrequent panic attacks, public speaking). For constant anxiety, klonoin works because it stays in your system for a long time. I can take one milligram when I'm freaking out and not only will it kill the panic, but it'll give me relief from it long enough to not be scared of it. Sometimes, when I get bad, I'll take it for a week if need be ( long enough to get past the cycle of fear that attacks work off of) and then I'm able to not take it. Sometimes just having it in my pocket is enough to keep me "safe". But obviously, I'm not a doctor. Sometimes ( well, most of the time) it takes a lot of trial and error to find what works.

    As far as exercise goes, Kari, that was my solution too! Because your heart beats fast just like it does in a panic attack, I had a VERY hard time being able to make that disconnect in my mind. And of course I was going to be the person with an undiagnosed heart problem that was going to have a heart attack while jogging. Lol. I would put my hands on those heart monitors built into the machines and be like "OMG!!! ITS OFF THE CHART!" What I didn't know then was that those are very inaccurate. When I got a heart monitor, I could see where it was at, remind myself I was exercising and not panicking and then be fine. My heart rate tends to stay sort of high anyway ( lack of exercise, hey!) so it's good to know that I'm not overdoing it.
    The Landslide Never Brought, Brought Me Down

  2. #1097
    Senior Member eresos's Avatar
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    pb - thx for input
    Hope you continue to do well with Pristiq

    I'm on cymbalta now - like it better than lexapro but the brain shocks from withdrawal when I forget are awful
    I tried to titrate down & did not do well. Hoping to get in with a really well rated psychiatrist soon to discuss if I'm even on the right meds for my issues

    My husband & I found a counseling center on our plan that we didn't have to wait for.
    so far seems okay
    He had his first visits this week & is doing better
    Kinda letting him be the Guinea pig with this place.

    He got risperdal & so far, so good. Fingers crossed
    Any one here have experience with it?

    And as always I have to say, thank you to everyone who posts here
    Mental health is not something easily discussed so it really helps me to read your posts
    "this way, that way, i am of two minds" -sappho
    http://classicpersuasion.org/pw/sappho/index.htm

  3. #1098
    no replacement for places pb's Avatar
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    Thanks eresos, turns out the hives I assumed were a side effect or allergy from the Pristiq were actually the first signs of something else Shingles are no walk in the park, but a silver lining is I can continue trying out the med.
    Best luck to you and your husband - It's good you'll be able to have an idea of the vibe of the center before committing. The last place I went shut down with no notice, sketchy bank fraud stuff - left a lot of patients & counselors SOL..Looking back there were signs of everything not being on the up & up at that center as a whole - I ignored them because I really liked who I was seeing at the time.Hope the brain shocks are infrequent, those can be really trying; part of how I was able to get prior auth for Pristiq was due to the electric brain being a real problem for me on Effexor even w/a steady dose.

    Quote Originally Posted by eresos View Post
    And as always I have to say, thank you to everyone who posts here
    Mental health is not something easily discussed so it really helps me to read your posts
    Quoted for truth, feel the same.

  4. #1099
    Senior Member CC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eresos View Post
    Anyone else here have a hard time decision making???
    I just doubt my ability to make the right choice
    Always worrying about worrying
    Oh yes, decision making is terrible for me, too.
    I have a depression relapse after 15 years of being more or less alright (= I could fight depression before it got stuck in me again), but I changed my job a year ago and things went down south in a very unexpected way. I knew after three month there that I wanted to quit- but it took me half a year more to finally make that decision for real.
    But I am still rethinking and worrying and rethinking though it is 100% decided...
    And on quite some days, if there is more than one option, I can't even make up my mind what to eat, when to shower or what TV show I want to watch.

    It drives me nuts, but I try to be patient with me here...

  5. #1100
    Senior Member Naid's Avatar
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    Hi, was wondering if anyone has experience with EMDR?

  6. #1101
    Senior Member take_offs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Naid View Post
    Hi, was wondering if anyone has experience with EMDR?
    Hi, I haven't posted in this thread before but I am currently doing EMDR with my therapist. Feel free to ask here or PM me if you have questions!

  7. #1102
    Senior Member Naid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by take_offs View Post
    Hi, I haven't posted in this thread before but I am currently doing EMDR with my therapist. Feel free to ask here or PM me if you have questions!
    Sorry for not replying sooner - thanks so much for your offer. I started the preparatory stages of EMDR but hit a wall really quickly. I have so many barriers and dissociation is a real problem. It hasn't been possible for my therapist to install the safe place. Fortunately she is also trained in prolonged exposure therapy so I'll probably go that route but I would really love to hear your thoughts on EMDR. I hope it's going well for you?

    Edit: just re-read your post, I'll PM next time :-)

  8. #1103
    Senior Member take_offs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Naid View Post
    Sorry for not replying sooner - thanks so much for your offer. I started the preparatory stages of EMDR but hit a wall really quickly. I have so many barriers and dissociation is a real problem. It hasn't been possible for my therapist to install the safe place. Fortunately she is also trained in prolonged exposure therapy so I'll probably go that route but I would really love to hear your thoughts on EMDR. I hope it's going well for you?

    Edit: just re-read your post, I'll PM next time :-)
    It is going well for me! From what I understand everyone has a different experience with it. It can also be slow work, and the preparation stages can take weeks. I'm using it to target specific past memories and feelings that have contributed to addictive behaviors, anxiety, and depression. It's sort of like we added in the bilateral stimulation into the standard talk therapy setup.

    For me, the bilateral stimulation is soothing and has helped me reprocess things from my past. In the moment it helps me talk about certain things without being overwhelmed by the feelings I've always associated with them, like shame.

  9. #1104
    it's a long long climb Kari's Avatar
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    Hi all!

    So, I'm depressed! And I have been for about six weeks. I am functional - going to work and obligations and all - but I can't seem to shake it this time. Usually, a depression bout comes from a severe anxiety cycle and the depression is the last stage, which dissipates within a week or so. This time, it was JUST depression, which is rare. It is very low level, and it snuck up on me. I don't really know what to do. My therapist has her theories, I have my theories, so for now we're trying to talk it out and watch and wait. I really really really REALLY do not want to go back on meds, for both weight gain reasons and I Can't Write on Antidepressants reasons. I am just insanely frustrated. I think I was self medicating a little - food and booze - so I have gotten my diet back on track and I am cutting down on the wine. Alcohol is a depressant, after all. A tasty, tasty depressant. Ugh. I blame Trump. That's only a little bit of a joke. I feel like things are really depressing right now.

  10. #1105
    Senior Member eresos's Avatar
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    So sorry.
    I don't think it's unreasonable that the current state around us is adding to our already existing anxiety & depression
    It's such disaster & chaos right now and a lot of uncertainty for the security of our future
    And the news is relentless with so much daily absurdity.

    Hope you find some relief soon
    "this way, that way, i am of two minds" -sappho
    http://classicpersuasion.org/pw/sappho/index.htm

  11. #1106
    Luckiest SweetPea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kari View Post
    Hi all!

    So, I'm depressed! And I have been for about six weeks. I am functional - going to work and obligations and all - but I can't seem to shake it this time. Usually, a depression bout comes from a severe anxiety cycle and the depression is the last stage, which dissipates within a week or so. This time, it was JUST depression, which is rare. It is very low level, and it snuck up on me. I don't really know what to do. My therapist has her theories, I have my theories, so for now we're trying to talk it out and watch and wait. I really really really REALLY do not want to go back on meds, for both weight gain reasons and I Can't Write on Antidepressants reasons. I am just insanely frustrated. I think I was self medicating a little - food and booze - so I have gotten my diet back on track and I am cutting down on the wine. Alcohol is a depressant, after all. A tasty, tasty depressant. Ugh. I blame Trump. That's only a little bit of a joke. I feel like things are really depressing right now.
    Kari, me too. Between work being slow, my boss being an obnoxious child half the time, and the Great Orange Hitler shenanigans... I'm in a low flying panic attack/depression about 80% of my day. I have no patience for my dog, little patience for my clients, and even less patience with myself when it comes to my basic everyday responsibilities. I feel like I'm walking through a thick fog that is preventing me from enjoying anything. I don't have a therapist to talk to, so I'm just trying to deal with it and ride it out... which really just involves sleeping more and/or shutting myself down and bottling everything up. It's a terrible situation just waiting to boil over into an explosion. And I feel like I can't do anything to stop it or prevent that!

    Things are really depressing right now. I'm so sorry you are going through this rough time. If you ever need someone to rant to/at, my inbox is always open.
    You don't have to do everything all by yourself.

  12. #1107
    it's a long long climb Kari's Avatar
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    Thanks love. and yeah, similar boat. It's god awful. And there's nothing to do about any of it!

  13. #1108
    my boss is wreaking havoc on my mental health. I've quit hiding it and just let my anxiety fly in front of her. so when she shows up in a shit mood and treats everyone like shit, I ask her, "did I do something? Are you mad at me? You just seem really upset with me." I mean, fuck it, I'm tired of getting shit on because she didn't like the number in the scale that morning. I know she's shitting on us because she's mad at the world, but it still makes me fucking paranoid. Anyway. It's been effective and I've noticed she'll try To be more encouraging and less moody.

    Unfortunately it's too late and I don't give a fuck. like AT ALL. But the thought of another job doing the same thing? NOPE. I feel so stuck. Even with a career change (which I want), I'm still looking at at least two more years of this. Ugh. I've called in sick twice in the last two weeks just because I couldn't deal. I haven't had a sick day in years.

  14. #1109
    Senior Member eresos's Avatar
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    Oh gosh, I can empathize not currently but in the past
    It's so hard to just function with our own shit day in and day out
    So please don't give me yours. Of course, no one wants to do that necessarily- maybe handful of genuine a-holes in the world but who wants to be "that guy"
    So sorry you have to deal with it at work- it's so much of our daily energy
    Do what you can to take care of you first
    "this way, that way, i am of two minds" -sappho
    http://classicpersuasion.org/pw/sappho/index.htm

  15. #1110
    it's a long long climb Kari's Avatar
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