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Thread: The entertainment industry's unstoppable bullshit machine

  1. #556
    Only knows desire. Perky Compson's Avatar
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    Yeah, it was not well-written. For whatever reason it jumps around in chronological order and uses some weird wording choices. From what I understand, the basic gist is that Ansari took the woman, Grace, to his apartment after their date. Once there, when they started making out, then when Ansari started to move her hands towards his dick she backed away and became clearly uncomfortable. This then became a long game of her indicating and even outright saying she was uncomfortable and Ansari navigating her away from the door, saying they'd just chill, and then sticking his fingers down her throat, simulating anal sex and trying to finger her. At one point, directly after she says she's uncomfortable, her pressures her into oral sex. She eventually is able to leave and call a car. A bunch of text messages to her friends corroborate that she was upset and shaken the next day.

    On a side note to this - I tried dating men again, and I'm feeling deeply burned by the whole experience. I went on dates with three different men. One went well at first with a really positive sexual experience, and then the guy ghosted me after several months of regular back-and-forth, but whatever, that happens. The other two are one of the reasons women get so gunshy. After a perfectly nice date with each of the other two, neither date including discussion of sex happening that night:

    1. As I'm heading to the BART, the guy pulls me into a messy, aggressive kiss in the middle of a crowded street, including grabbing my ass and pawing between my legs, which I would have never wanted to do in public. He whispers "I've never fucked a woman with tattoos". I get onto the train a little rattled and get a text message detailing how hard I made him.

    2. I have to leave at 11pm because I have a morning commitment. I text the guy that I get home safely; he starts to suggest that I lied to him about why I had to leave because I'm not in bed immediately, then asks "why do I get the sense you're holding back on me?". I say "let's continue this conversation tomorrow, but I like to take things slow". The next day he decides to continue the conversation about my "trust issues" and floats the idea that have I been sexually abused? Is that why I didn't want to go home with him? Which is such an incredibly inappropriate line of conversation that I put the kibosh on the whole thing.

    Dudes need to clean up their act.

  2. #557
    it's a long long climb Kari's Avatar
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    The Aziz thing is just....I mean come on man. COME ON.

    It is unbelievable to me - truly - that men actually think women want fingers shoved down their throat on a first date. What the actual fuck. Like that is serious BDSM stuff that requires enthusiastic consent, that is not foreplay. That is aggressive and awful and gross.

  3. #558
    Senior Member HumptyDumpty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fullofwish View Post
    I went on a date with Aziz Ansari. It turned into the worst night of my life.

    This one is graphic in places, so be careful reading.
    Uhhh.... I don't know about that one.

    I agree about it being poorly written though. Oof.

  4. #559
    Sleeps to dream entropy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steve SFM View Post

    Dushku: Jesus. This is an ugly story; she goes into a lot of detail of grooming, etc. Obviously, trigger warnings apply. If you’re a Buffy person, the ending could choke you up a bit.
    There have been so so many stories. All have been upsetting. But there is something about Dusku's story and the story of USA Gymnastics that has really sat with me. In both cases, these people were supposed to care for their victims. They were just coworkers or bosses. But people who were actually tasked with the safety and well being of the victims. For the Gymnasts there are protocols in place, namely a female nurse accompanies the male doctor to protect all parties.


    I am starting to wonder who has gotten out of Hollywood without being a victim of sexual harassment or assault.

  5. #560
    Dushku's account is the most powerful for me, by far. I was a child actor growing up (not in Hollywood) and, while I mercifully wasn't traumatised the way that she, and so many others, have been, I did encounter abusive and inappropriate behaviour that certainly left its mark. Furthermore, I appreciate how detailed her post is. She made a point of calling out her abuser by name, stating specific times, places and situations, creating a coherent timeline and describing the culture and system that permits predators to continue their abuse. Her analysis of her own mental state is so profound and so brave; I would urge everyone to read her piece.

  6. #561
    Only knows desire. Perky Compson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropy View Post
    i am starting to wonder who has gotten out of Hollywood without being a victim of sexual harassment or assault.
    I’m starting to wonder if there’s a woman alive who’s made it to thirty without being a victim of harassment or assault.

  7. #562
    Only knows desire. Perky Compson's Avatar
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    Also, I just want to add on to this, because the Aziz thing has been bothering me all day.

    Aziz did not "misread" the situation. He marketed himself and by all reports is an emotionally-attuned, sensitive, perceptive person. I've known so many men like that who are completely capable of reading a room and understanding context and nonverbal cues - up until it gets in between them and the sex they want, and then suddenly they're bamboozled little lambs who can't be expected to read minds and are so mystified by those inscrutable females. Aziz didn't somehow lose his ability to empathize and recognize how another human being in his midst feels. His empathy, sensitivity and emotional intelligence didn't just get lost in his jacket pocket. He just didn't care, because he felt entitled to sex with her.

    Fucking enough of men playing stupid whenever it's convenient.

  8. #563
    trapped in the worst timeline just owls's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Perky Compson View Post
    Also, I just want to add on to this, because the Aziz thing has been bothering me all day.

    Aziz did not "misread" the situation. He marketed himself and by all reports is an emotionally-attuned, sensitive, perceptive person. I've known so many men like that who are completely capable of reading a room and understanding context and nonverbal cues - up until it gets in between them and the sex they want, and then suddenly they're bamboozled little lambs who can't be expected to read minds and are so mystified by those inscrutable females. Aziz didn't somehow lose his ability to empathize and recognize how another human being in his midst feels. His empathy, sensitivity and emotional intelligence didn't just get lost in his jacket pocket. He just didn't care, because he felt entitled to sex with her.

    Fucking enough of men playing stupid whenever it's convenient.
    It's bothering me so much, and most of the responses I'm seeing outside of Unf are like "but it wasn't rape so". What you said here and these tweets hit the nail on why this situation is so fucking gross to me.


  9. #564
    Remember. Steve SFM's Avatar
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    Not entertainment, but definitely on-topic.
    At my core, I think we're gonna be OK.

    Barack Hussein Obama

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