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Thread: The entertainment industry's unstoppable bullshit machine

  1. #526
    Remember. Steve SFM's Avatar
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    I don’t know much about him, but I do know that he has a nice guy image that apparently is complete bullshit. That is seriously fucking abusive behavior.
    At my core, I think we're gonna be OK.

    Barack Hussein Obama

  2. #527
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    I tried reading that last night, but I found it written so badly (not to disparage the accuser: it's the writer who sucks) I couldn't follow it. I mean, it sounded bad, but I couldn't properly assess it because it was too hard for me to parse. You ever have that? A writer who you just can't understand a word they're saying? Especially when everyone else gets it and you don't? I'm not stupid or impatient, but it just hit all my weak spots of comprehension. Sometimes it's the opposite, that I really get something that a lot of other people have a hard time with.

    ps this whole thing is really fucking with my head. I had a nightmare about Ewan McGregor. I apparently was an actor in a movie with him and he was a total nonsexual d-bag. He wrote my parents to find out what my bedtime was to get me into trouble. He had a major scandal in dreamworld where he peeled out of parking lots too loudly. My brain is seriously weird when I make up g-rated scandals but somehow turn them into nightmares.

  3. #528
    Only knows desire. Perky Compson's Avatar
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    Yeah, it was not well-written. For whatever reason it jumps around in chronological order and uses some weird wording choices. From what I understand, the basic gist is that Ansari took the woman, Grace, to his apartment after their date. Once there, when they started making out, then when Ansari started to move her hands towards his dick she backed away and became clearly uncomfortable. This then became a long game of her indicating and even outright saying she was uncomfortable and Ansari navigating her away from the door, saying they'd just chill, and then sticking his fingers down her throat, simulating anal sex and trying to finger her. At one point, directly after she says she's uncomfortable, her pressures her into oral sex. She eventually is able to leave and call a car. A bunch of text messages to her friends corroborate that she was upset and shaken the next day.

    On a side note to this - I tried dating men again, and I'm feeling deeply burned by the whole experience. I went on dates with three different men. One went well at first with a really positive sexual experience, and then the guy ghosted me after several months of regular back-and-forth, but whatever, that happens. The other two are one of the reasons women get so gunshy. After a perfectly nice date with each of the other two, neither date including discussion of sex happening that night:

    1. As I'm heading to the BART, the guy pulls me into a messy, aggressive kiss in the middle of a crowded street, including grabbing my ass and pawing between my legs, which I would have never wanted to do in public. He whispers "I've never fucked a woman with tattoos". I get onto the train a little rattled and get a text message detailing how hard I made him.

    2. I have to leave at 11pm because I have a morning commitment. I text the guy that I get home safely; he starts to suggest that I lied to him about why I had to leave because I'm not in bed immediately, then asks "why do I get the sense you're holding back on me?". I say "let's continue this conversation tomorrow, but I like to take things slow". The next day he decides to continue the conversation about my "trust issues" and floats the idea that have I been sexually abused? Is that why I didn't want to go home with him? Which is such an incredibly inappropriate line of conversation that I put the kibosh on the whole thing.

    Dudes need to clean up their act.

  4. #529
    Senior Member HumptyDumpty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fullofwish View Post
    I went on a date with Aziz Ansari. It turned into the worst night of my life.

    This one is graphic in places, so be careful reading.
    Uhhh.... I don't know about that one.

    I agree about it being poorly written though. Oof.

  5. #530
    Sleeps to dream entropy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steve SFM View Post

    Dushku: Jesus. This is an ugly story; she goes into a lot of detail of grooming, etc. Obviously, trigger warnings apply. If you’re a Buffy person, the ending could choke you up a bit.
    There have been so so many stories. All have been upsetting. But there is something about Dusku's story and the story of USA Gymnastics that has really sat with me. In both cases, these people were supposed to care for their victims. They were just coworkers or bosses. But people who were actually tasked with the safety and well being of the victims. For the Gymnasts there are protocols in place, namely a female nurse accompanies the male doctor to protect all parties.


    I am starting to wonder who has gotten out of Hollywood without being a victim of sexual harassment or assault.

  6. #531
    Dushku's account is the most powerful for me, by far. I was a child actor growing up (not in Hollywood) and, while I mercifully wasn't traumatised the way that she, and so many others, have been, I did encounter abusive and inappropriate behaviour that certainly left its mark. Furthermore, I appreciate how detailed her post is. She made a point of calling out her abuser by name, stating specific times, places and situations, creating a coherent timeline and describing the culture and system that permits predators to continue their abuse. Her analysis of her own mental state is so profound and so brave; I would urge everyone to read her piece.

  7. #532
    Only knows desire. Perky Compson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropy View Post
    i am starting to wonder who has gotten out of Hollywood without being a victim of sexual harassment or assault.
    I’m starting to wonder if there’s a woman alive who’s made it to thirty without being a victim of harassment or assault.

  8. #533
    Only knows desire. Perky Compson's Avatar
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    Also, I just want to add on to this, because the Aziz thing has been bothering me all day.

    Aziz did not "misread" the situation. He marketed himself and by all reports is an emotionally-attuned, sensitive, perceptive person. I've known so many men like that who are completely capable of reading a room and understanding context and nonverbal cues - up until it gets in between them and the sex they want, and then suddenly they're bamboozled little lambs who can't be expected to read minds and are so mystified by those inscrutable females. Aziz didn't somehow lose his ability to empathize and recognize how another human being in his midst feels. His empathy, sensitivity and emotional intelligence didn't just get lost in his jacket pocket. He just didn't care, because he felt entitled to sex with her.

    Fucking enough of men playing stupid whenever it's convenient.

  9. #534
    trapped in the worst timeline just owls's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Perky Compson View Post
    Also, I just want to add on to this, because the Aziz thing has been bothering me all day.

    Aziz did not "misread" the situation. He marketed himself and by all reports is an emotionally-attuned, sensitive, perceptive person. I've known so many men like that who are completely capable of reading a room and understanding context and nonverbal cues - up until it gets in between them and the sex they want, and then suddenly they're bamboozled little lambs who can't be expected to read minds and are so mystified by those inscrutable females. Aziz didn't somehow lose his ability to empathize and recognize how another human being in his midst feels. His empathy, sensitivity and emotional intelligence didn't just get lost in his jacket pocket. He just didn't care, because he felt entitled to sex with her.

    Fucking enough of men playing stupid whenever it's convenient.
    It's bothering me so much, and most of the responses I'm seeing outside of Unf are like "but it wasn't rape so". What you said here and these tweets hit the nail on why this situation is so fucking gross to me.


  10. #535
    Remember. Steve SFM's Avatar
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    Not entertainment, but definitely on-topic.
    At my core, I think we're gonna be OK.

    Barack Hussein Obama

  11. #536
    I'm sorry, I read and re-read the Babe piece, trying to piece together what happened to this woman. I'm sorry that "Grace" had a bad date, which she is referring to as the worst night of her life. And, yes, it's certainly upsetting that yet another guy turned out to be oafish and self-absorbed. But she was not assaulted. This is a grown woman accusing a guy of not reading her mind. She had an uncomfortable sexual experience that she walked away from, even if she took her sweet time to do even that. She does not get to diminish the ongoing movement of actual survivors of horrific abuse stepping up and sharing their stories. The fact that so many readers can't see that this is a blatant grab for 15 minutes' worth of attention just blows me away. People like "Grace" are the biggest threat to everything that #MeToo has stood for.

  12. #537
    Senior Member HumptyDumpty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrotherNamedErised View Post
    I'm sorry, I read and re-read the Babe piece, trying to piece together what happened to this woman. I'm sorry that "Grace" had a bad date, which she is referring to as the worst night of her life. And, yes, it's certainly upsetting that yet another guy turned out to be oafish and self-absorbed. But she was not assaulted. This is a grown woman accusing a guy of not reading her mind. She had an uncomfortable sexual experience that she walked away from, even if she took her sweet time to do even that. She does not get to diminish the ongoing movement of actual survivors of horrific abuse stepping up and sharing their stories. The fact that so many readers can't see that this is a blatant grab for 15 minutes' worth of attention just blows me away. People like "Grace" are the biggest threat to everything that #MeToo has stood for.
    This is pretty much how I feel about it as well. As a cis woman who's been on her fair share of Tinder disaster dates, I can say this reads more as your average uncomfortable interaction with a man who thinks his moves are sexier than they actually are.

  13. #538
    Only knows desire. Perky Compson's Avatar
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    The biggest threat to the #MeToo movement is fucking rapists and their desire to keep power. "This victim's story doesn't meet my standards, so it's a disgrace to survivors everywhere" is just concern-trolling.

    Aziz Ansari proved to be yet another guy who doesn't actually care if a girl wants to have sex with him. He knew full-well she didn't. She used her words and her body to express that. His actions are a classic case of following the letter of the law but not the spirit.

  14. #539
    I do not have standards when it comes to assault. I believe in facts. I believe in legal and linguistic definitions of what constitutes harassment, assault, rape. I am sorry that this young woman had an unpleasant encounter. It does not automatically become a violent attack just because she chooses to label it as one.

  15. #540
    Only knows desire. Perky Compson's Avatar
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    She never labeled it a “violent attack”, and speaking as an attorney, if you construe what happens to women only in legal parameters you’re never going to condemn so much of the behavior that keeps women afraid and subjugated. There are plenty of horrible things we don’t legislate against.

    Her encounter doesn’t meet the legal definition of rape. However, his actions - having sexual contact with someone he knows doesn’t want it - sure as hell meets the socially accepted definition.

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