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Thread: Funny Things Kids Say

  1. #1
    Royal Bitchess of Snarkdom Em's Avatar
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    Funny Things Kids Say

    Garion to me: Your face stinks.
    Me to Garion: So's yer butt.
    Garion to me: No, your face hole STINKS.
    Me to Garion: So's yer butt hole. *slaps hand over face*
    Garion to me: Well, your aaaaaa....
    Kaiya chimes in: He's about to say ay ess ess aich oh el eee.
    Me to Garion: Don't say it.
    Garion to me: so's your asshole.


    this inappropriate moment brought to you by the chaos of summer vacation.
    send halps.


    [I was pretty much lured right into that one, though. sneaky.]
    Last edited by Em; 06-16-2010 at 11:53 PM.

  2. #2
    [conform, or be cast out] ej's Avatar
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    Bwaaaaahahahahahaha! The score stands: Garion - 1, Em - 0.

  3. #3
    Royal Bitchess of Snarkdom Em's Avatar
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    right? damn. that was slick. I'm kind of impressed while appropriately shocked and perturbed.

  4. #4
    Royal Bitchess of Snarkdom Em's Avatar
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    Kaiya's sitting here playing SIMS and Dave walks over and plugs in a code to give her $50,000. Kaiya says, "Now she can play video games!" that's a little too meta for me.

  5. #5
    And in the evening it's. . . Andrea's Avatar
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    We had another "What the heck has your father been letting you watch?" moment. Feeding the fish is one of Tess's daily treats. This weekend as we were standing with the food, she asked what the fish's name is. I told her it doesn't have on and that she could name it. So, I asked her what his name was, and she replied "Grand Pimp!"

  6. #6
    whack ass bitch forever Autumn's Avatar
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    My daughter has referred to the gynocologist as a "guardiantologist" more than once. As in, "I am never going to go see one of those guardiantologist people. I don't want some man looking up my crotch!"

  7. #7
    guardiantologist!

    I've been traveling a lot for work this past year. I was away 10 days in March and have to leave again in a few weeks. It is wearing on my son. I was tucking him in and he yanked on my arm funny. I laughed and jokingly told him he was going to break my arm. He says, "If you break your arm will you still have to go away?" I say, "Why, are you going to break my arm?" He says, "No, but if you break your arm will you still have to go away?"

  8. #8
    Royal Bitchess of Snarkdom Em's Avatar
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    Dave was putting together the new fan we bought, the kids looking on. He got it all together except for the front "guard" part, when he looked over at me and said, "this is the part I suck at." He walked into the kitchen and I went over to put the guard together and Garion mumbles, "well dad did say he sucks at this."

  9. #9
    Royal Bitchess of Snarkdom Em's Avatar
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    I'm starting to catch on to what the 6 year old has already figured out: Dave's favorite word.

    Dave: How do you feel about watching Lord of the Rings in a little bit?
    Me: eh.
    Garion: eh.
    Dave: it's got walking trees, and a giant sorceror
    Me: and hobbits and ... what are those pointy eared people?
    Dave: elves.
    Me: right.
    Garion: and it's got a giant squid...
    Dave: I don't remember a giant squid.
    Me: in the cave.
    Garion: yeah, it's in the water.
    Dave: Well I'm glad you've got a good memory buddy, because mine....
    Garion: ..... sucks?


  10. #10
    lmao I have to stop using that word or he is going to completely associate me with sucking at everything.

  11. #11
    omg, Autumn...that is hilarious!

    My nephew (age 3) pointed to my Mom's boobs and asked, "You got milk in those puppies?"

  12. #12
    When I was a child I thought they were called ovarian cream donuts.

  13. #13
    Royal Bitchess of Snarkdom Em's Avatar
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    ewewew. sowrong.

  14. #14
    Who's Deanna? SparkleMotion's Avatar
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    Me: Buddy, what are you doing up there?
    Sean: I'm going poop!
    (almost 20 minutes pass)
    Me: Are you almost done?
    Sean: I had nine pieces of poop!
    (Friend and I try not to die laughing.)

  15. #15
    Lucien has this Little People board book from when he was wee and he's got the thing memorized so it looks like he's reading.

    It basically lists the animals on the farm such as

    "The pig meets the horse, the horse meets the cow, the cow meets the sheep"

    It goes on and at the end it goes "The animals meet the farmer!"


    Well he's reading it and gets to the end and says "The animals eat the farmer! (pauses for a second)No, wait! The animals MEET the farmer.. animals on parade!"

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