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Thread: Funny Things Kids Say

  1. #16
    So, I wake up and the kids clean up their rooms. Kaiya is putting a book away... "I'll put mom's Stephen King book back."
    Me: "You do know that that is a book for adults, right?"
    Kaiya: "Yeah, but I know how to read it!"


  2. #17
    Strangerer Rum 509's Avatar
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    You'd better go through your books! We had some rather explicit oversize books, gifts of course, that got moved to high shelves, maybe a little too late. Oops!

    I got a hair cut about 5 days ago, a little extra off the back. I got home the same time the 8 year old arrived in another car. He yelled out, "Hey dad - NICE HAIRCUT!" Okay, thanks...

    Then again yesterday, "Dad, I REALLY like your haircut!!!" Wha?

    What's he up to?

  3. #18
    Royal Bitchess of Snarkdom Em's Avatar
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    Yesterday I was made to elaborate a bit more on the whole "where do babies come from" saga that my daughter has been asking piece by piece. The conversation started out simply enough: she has been of the opinion that humans hatch from eggs, just like a chicken. So I corrected her by saying, "we do start out from an egg, but it's not really quite the same." So of course she wanted further explanation. As I took a couple of seconds to gather the words I wanted to say to her, she piped up with, "Oh, don't ignore me." So little miss impatient was treated with some visuals - I googled some images of cell division and followed up with various ultrasounds of a pregnancy at different weeks of progression. She seemed satisfied at the end of the conversation; at least she definitely knows now that humans don't actually hatch from eggs. I'm really dreading the rest of the telling, though. She's just turned 8, so I imagine we're going to get to it sooner rather than later. There's only so long we could have gone on letting her come to her own conclusions about human eggs coming out of your bellybutton and hatching babies, I suppose.

  4. #19
    Sleeps to dream entropy's Avatar
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    ^hahaha, thank god for the internet.

  5. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Em View Post
    There's only so long we could have gone on letting her come to her own conclusions about human eggs coming out of your bellybutton and hatching babies, I suppose.
    When my questioning got pesky, my Mom shared this book with me:



    Kinda NSFW Illustration from inside the book

  6. #21
    Royal Bitchess of Snarkdom Em's Avatar
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    fwhahahaa. er.. I dunno if I agree that "the closest two people can get" is sex. hrm. What did you think of the book when you first read it, and how old were you? maybe there's an updated more feminist leaning version.

  7. #22
    I thought the book was really weird...and I didn't quite "get" it. I think I was around 10 or so...not sure exactly. Maybe older than that, but not much. I know that by 12 or 13 I knew the whole story, it was no secret in our house. My parents were always really open and honest about things like that. Too much, sometimes!

  8. #23
    Royal Bitchess of Snarkdom Em's Avatar
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    Oh! I almost forgot the funny Garion came up with yesterday, as well. We were outside picking blackberries together, discussing another srs bsns subject of the passing of one of our dogs a couple of months ago. Conversation starts out with how he thinks it means he's getting to be a big boy because he doesn't cry as much now. I said, "yes, that's true. but sometimes adults cry, too, and that's okay; it's okay to cry if you really need to - if you're sad or hurt." He adds, "right, like you cried when Simba died. We still miss him but we're not as sad anymore, so we don't cry about it." "Yep, because we know he's happier now; he had a very long happy life, and he isn't old and suffering now."

    Garion launches into, "do you think he's a ghost?"
    Me: hrm.... I don't know. What do you think?
    Garion: I think he is. I saw a program on tv talking about ghosts, and I think they're real.
    Me: well, some people do think they're real, and some don't.
    Garion: You should watch that tv show if you want to believe they're real. 'Cause I saw it on tv, so, it must be real.
    Me: err.. not everything on tv is real, though. most of it isn't.
    Garion: Oh, I know, but this was real.
    Me: mmmk..

  9. #24
    Royal Bitchess of Snarkdom Em's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JayPea View Post
    I thought the book was really weird...and I didn't quite "get" it. I think I was around 10 or so...not sure exactly. Maybe older than that, but not much. I know that by 12 or 13 I knew the whole story, it was no secret in our house. My parents were always really open and honest about things like that. Too much, sometimes!
    ah. my parents didn't tell me shit until I figured it all out on my own through various means... and *then* they went directly to the overshare. I guess that's why I'm struggling with how much information she should have at any given time. I certainly don't shy away from answering that gives her enough info to satisfy her curiosity, but I'm not ready [and I don't believe she is either, nor needs to be ready] for the whole "this is a penis, it makes sperm," portion of festivities. And that's basically all that's left to answer at this point... that and exactly HOW the baby makes its way out of the mom. Another part of me is aware that she has expressed several times that she's uncomfortable with the concept of having her own children right now, and I wouldn't want to say anything to scare the hell out of her as far as the whole labor portion of it. She does know that it hurts and that there are also medications that can help make it not hurt, but she doesn't know why it would hurt. Again, just.. not necessary yet!

  10. #25
    Who's Deanna? SparkleMotion's Avatar
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    This isn't so much funny as mortifying:

    I went out to dinner tonight with my son and best friend. Said best friend does have some visible upper lip hair. It doesn't rival Tom Selleck or anything, but it's there. My son turns to her during dinner and says, "Tricia, you have a mustache." Dead silence. Again: "Tricia, you have a mustache." I turned to my friend and said, "You know I'm mortified, right?" We did have a good laugh after I told Sean he was being rude.

  11. #26
    Junior Member JustPat's Avatar
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    Thanks for making me SMILE, everyone! I love these threads and miss *my* girls.

  12. #27
    CMYK>RGB Stephanie's Avatar
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    "I'm just going to go have a little check" says the 2.5 yrs old in response to me saying there may be construction trucks down the road. Not that funny, but super cute

  13. #28
    Join The Resistance Barbarella's Avatar
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    Went for a walk tonight, and when we were passing by the creek, Jack points at the creek and says "You see the whale shark?"

  14. #29
    Oy With The Poodles Already!
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    Abby has decided she really wants to start potty training now. She picked out some pullups today, and as soon as we got home from the store stripped off her diaper and put on a pull up. And now she is running around the house yelling "PULL UP! I'M WEARING PULL UPS! PULL UP PULL UP PULL UP!!!"

  15. #30
    My friend's 5-year-old son announced the other day that he is no longer wearing pants because, "My penis is a magic wand!"

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