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Thread: Bah humbug!

  1. #286
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    The bar for this year's Christmas was pretty low after the shittiness dealt by 2016 (my aunt, mother and brother-in-law dying within three months of each other), and in that perspective, Christmas was pretty decent. Even my sister bringing her terrible boyfriend was offset by (hold on to your seats) the boyfriend SEEING THE (UNHAPPY) GHOST OF MY MOTHER IN THE KITCHEN AT NIGHT. I'm legit delighted. Way to come back, Mum.*

    * I'm reserving judgment on whether it was truly my mother's ghost or if he was just having hallucinations after some drugs he took. Whatever. Happy Holidays!

  2. #287
    Sleeps to dream entropy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy View Post
    I'm so so sorry that everyone is having such a shit time this holiday season. It's just about impossible to sit down and think quietly about this kinda stuff when everyone around you is beating themselves to death with that happy, phony Christmas stick. Please try to hang in there.
    That's precisely it! I have had a few years since becoming a mom when I really felt Christmasy, but I didn't feel the need to beat everyone over the head with it! I just wanted to create happy memories for my daughter. I firmly believe it's best to do that year round and not put so many expectations on one day!
    Last edited by entropy; 12-27-2017 at 12:35 AM.

  3. #288
    Baby it BURNS thisnotget's Avatar
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    My grandmother fell out her bed and had 3 seizures Christmas Eve. Fuck this Christmas.
    -time moves both ways-

  4. #289
    fights battles for no one Nora's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy View Post
    I'm so so sorry that everyone is having such a shit time this holiday season. It's just about impossible to sit down and think quietly about this kinda stuff when everyone around you is beating themselves to death with that happy, phony Christmas stick. Please try to hang in there.
    Yes this, all of this. There are so many expectations around the holiday season that it's impossible to manage even if you don't have shit going down. Take care of yourself.

  5. #290
    A Matter Of How You See It Kala's Avatar
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    We are talking about going out of town next year to somewhere warm for the holidays since we don't celebrate them anymore. If everyone is healthy I think that's what we'll do. The HIGH is 10F here today.

  6. #291
    Only knows desire. Perky Compson's Avatar
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    Thank you so much to the people who reached out to me over the last few days - I'm doing much better now, although still in the weeds a bit. No longer having crying meltdowns in the back of ride-shares to pop mixtapes!

    My heart goes out to everyone else in this thread, especially those dealing with health issues and loss. It's been a really shitty year for so many people and I hope we all pull through.

  7. #292
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    Dukes up, people.

  8. #293
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    The post-Trump extra-shitty feeling of holiday dread is creeping in. It's like a fog that starts slowly. A light misty rain, eventually being a zero visibility situation.

    I was feeling bad I hadn't seen one of my family branches in a while because of the stupid shit on facebook the mother posts. There were a lot of disingenuous images this week of "can't we just get along". Suspiciously post-election, when the idiots got their asses handed to them and want Democrats to be nice to them with just 1/3 of the power. You know, nicer to them than they were to use with 3/3 power. Anyway, today rolled up an Obama video shared from a user whose name contained "sheeple." And the rage washed over me in waves. I knew that whole side of the family was horrible in a thousand different ways, but pre-facebook, it just was suspicions and maybe the occasional spoken thing. It wasn't overt and it was only from time to time, cause it's not like I saw into their sad little minds more than a handful of times a year. Now it isn't ephemeral like spoken words and it's at least once a week.

    I just can't keep the disgust off my face and I can't keep my mouth shut. A friend of mine was going to be around ONLY Trump supporters for Thanksgiving and it just made me wonder why everyone can't just keep to the "no politics" rules at family gatherings. I could handle some branches of my family if they kept their terrible political opinions to themselves. It's literally one of the top things etiquette says you shouldn't talk about. But that branch of my family has an inability to think that someone knows anything more than they do and won't let an "expert" tell them how to roll. Sure, you barely graduated HS in the early 80s and haven't taken a class since, never read non-fiction or news in print form. Please tell me how your opinion is more valid than mine, even if I only spent 5 minutes on Snopes.

    So without facebook and their inability to keep from putting terrible opinions out there and without following basic Emily Post, I could get through the holidays... maybe. (There is a big family event in October and the motherfuckers always forget to invite me and I'm still steaming from being forgotten in 2017.)

    Bah Humbug, 2018.

  9. #294
    a succulent Chinese meal lacuna's Avatar
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    The radio station I listen to at work has already started playing Xmas music. I’m so pissed. It’s the knell of a holiday-free existence. I’m not fucking ready yet.

    Hmmph

  10. #295
    Sleeps to dream entropy's Avatar
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    I went to Kohl's today. The were playing Xmas music. On the way home I spotted a neighbor putting up holiday lights. I hate this time of year. Hell-mas. Yep, done with with! BAH HUMBUG!

  11. #296
    Let them eat cheese flan Nancy's Avatar
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    We're going to tune in the Hallmark channel with the sound muted (so we don't have to hear the Christmas music) and watch Happy the Dog and Happy the Cat celebrate Thanksgiving.




    There's so much food in the oven right now that we should be comatose by noon or 1 p.m. Which is fine.

  12. #297
    I am not a loony beanstew's Avatar
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    Happy Thanksgiving American friends!

    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

  13. #298
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    If I hear/see one more sincere think piece/casual aside of: white people talk to your racist families, I'm going to scream. It comes from an awfully privileged place. You can't understand the depths of some families' dysfunction. And it's condescending as hell. If my family would actually listen to me, do you think I'd be unselfish and use it up on racism? Hell no. I got other shit that needs fixing. I hate the attitude of "racism must exist because white people don't yell at their families during holidays." Sure, some dynamics are like that but some of us can't get our idiot relatives to agree the sky is blue. Or some of us may be the literal smartest person in the family, who always has to play alone when everyone else teams up for Trivial Pursuit, but can't get one fucking person to admit she might be right about the sky being blue because they learned in 1978 that it was green. I have all the smarts but zero respect. Me standing up for POC at a holiday is going to be arguing with the idiots or if they decide not to engage me, me ranting and raving at a turkey carcass like a lunatic. It's not going to solve racism and just make for a shitty day FOR EVERYONE.

    Talk to the racists in my family? Why didn't I ever think of that? Thanks, [usually POC] commentator! I don't need basic humanity for myself in my family, not to be called a cunt or be told "I hate you" or even have someone take a swing at me. Let me make sure this racist shit bag who at least votes D sometimes and isn't in the Klan watches Atlanta next season. That's what's important, right?

    I hate smug.

    I do agree that it's important for people to talk when circumstances allow for it but it's ok to just eat and ignore, especially if you're out marching and donating and calling your reps and canvassing. You deserve a break too. And if you've already spent the majority of your life arguing with people, why waste your breath on another day?

    One of the best things I've read since 2016 was something like: Facts and logic didn't get people into their positions so facts and logic aren't going to get them out. What's the point of arguing with irrational if YOU DON'T WANT TO? If you've done it before and been unsuccessful?

    Don't feel bad, don't listen to smug idiots dispensing "wisdom" from a podcast or insta or op ed.

  14. #299
    Crimson Liberator Faust's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Regina Phalange View Post
    If I hear/see one more sincere think piece/casual aside of: white people talk to your racist families, I'm going to scream. It comes from an awfully privileged place. You can't understand the depths of some families' dysfunction. And it's condescending as hell. If my family would actually listen to me, do you think I'd be unselfish and use it up on racism? Hell no. I got other shit that needs fixing. I hate the attitude of "racism must exist because white people don't yell at their families during holidays." Sure, some dynamics are like that but some of us can't get our idiot relatives to agree the sky is blue. Or some of us may be the literal smartest person in the family, who always has to play alone when everyone else teams up for Trivial Pursuit, but can't get one fucking person to admit she might be right about the sky being blue because they learned in 1978 that it was green. I have all the smarts but zero respect. Me standing up for POC at a holiday is going to be arguing with the idiots or if they decide not to engage me, me ranting and raving at a turkey carcass like a lunatic. It's not going to solve racism and just make for a shitty day FOR EVERYONE.

    Talk to the racists in my family? Why didn't I ever think of that? Thanks, [usually POC] commentator! I don't need basic humanity for myself in my family, not to be called a cunt or be told "I hate you" or even have someone take a swing at me. Let me make sure this racist shit bag who at least votes D sometimes and isn't in the Klan watches Atlanta next season. That's what's important, right?

    I hate smug.

    I do agree that it's important for people to talk when circumstances allow for it but it's ok to just eat and ignore, especially if you're out marching and donating and calling your reps and canvassing. You deserve a break too. And if you've already spent the majority of your life arguing with people, why waste your breath on another day?

    One of the best things I've read since 2016 was something like: Facts and logic didn't get people into their positions so facts and logic aren't going to get them out. What's the point of arguing with irrational if YOU DON'T WANT TO? If you've done it before and been unsuccessful?

    Don't feel bad, don't listen to smug idiots dispensing "wisdom" from a podcast or insta or op ed.
    Dude, I don't even have to deal with that kind of shit during the holidays to know it doesn't work like that. I didn't feel like I could comment on those kind of posts *because* I don't have to deal with Nazi apologist POS in-laws but it seems fairly obvious we can't just get through to our families because of some... blood connection. Not sure why being able to rub two brain cells together is so tough, but here we are.

    I'd find the post that really drove me nuts (something something, "they'll listen to you because YOU'RE FAMILY") but I don't think you need to see it to know it's obnoxious, privileged trash.

    Sending smarmy, black-hearted love, friendos.
    'Tis better to bend with the wind than stand tall and be broken. Therein lies hope; therein lies freedom.

  15. #300
    Senior Member Andyland's Avatar
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    I don't think anyone's going to completely change their extended family's worldview over a holiday dinner, but I can understand wanting to encourage people to respond when their relatives make blatantly racist comments, since silence can feel like tacit approval. Folks definitely need to watch out for their own mental health and safety though. It's certainly not easy to decide what battles are worth our time
    Last edited by Andyland; 11-22-2018 at 11:27 PM.

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