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Thread: Being a Parent is hard...

  1. #151
    Join The Resistance Barbarella's Avatar
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    Nate is failing, like for real failing 7th grade. I've done EVERYTHING but go to school and do the work for him. Parent/teacher conferences, meetings with his counselor, his deans and his assistant principles.
    He just REFUSES to do the work. I am so fucking upset. I NEVER in a million years thought he would be acting this way. I have to let him hit this bottom, and that is so frustrating and hard.

  2. #152
    Strangerer Rum 509's Avatar
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    So sorry to hear this, it is very difficult to go through, but you are absolutely on the right track when you say that you have to let him hit bottom. This is where, hopefully, he learns about work, personal responsibility, a lot of important things. I know you've done everything you can, now you have to let go a bit. It's sad to watch, because you know it's going to be harder for him too in the long run. But apparently, this is just something he has to go through. Hang in there.

  3. #153
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    Thank you. I know you are right, but I still feel so awful. Like I failed at something somewhere a long the parent line.

    ETA: I'm putting him in Kumon (tutoring) for the summer. Which of course he is pissed about. Why doesn't he understand that if he just did his work, I wouldn't be up his ass and he would have more freedom? It's not like I haven't explained that to him a thousand times. GAH!

  4. #154
    Strangerer Rum 509's Avatar
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    It sounds like you two are having a battle, any chance to wave a white flag and have talks? You may find something that works, but as kids get older, the harder you push them to do something they don't want to do (no matter how bad their reasons), the harder they push back.

    Esp. teenage girls. MFG.

    ETA: To get him to do his homework, I bribed my youngest with a new X-box this year, so far it seems to be working. The day of reckoning is coming up though… This is not something I'd recommend, but really, we've tried everything we can think of. He starts a new school next year, we don't even know where yet. Last time he started a new school, it was a heartbreaking disaster.

    So hang in there.

  5. #155
    Who's Deanna? SparkleMotion's Avatar
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    All I can do is echo Rum. You are doing the work as a parent. Eventually there is that level where it is up to the individual child. I'm going through a similar thing with Sean in terms of him just flat out refusing to do things. I fear that he is in a for a hard, disappointing life if he doesn't realize sometimes we have to do things we don't want to.

    So keep being the bad guy (aka good responsible parent). I know it's hard to see a good kid do these things (or refuse to as the case may be). Just know that you are a good mom. If you weren't it wouldn't be this hard.

  6. #156
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    Have you ever considered an education specialist? My kid, the one I'm currently bribing has been in a special school for two years, but that school is over. We recently made a preliminary visit to this group: http://www.dls-learning.com and we're hopeful. We've been to specialists before, no one has been able to put a finger on what's wrong, he's a smart kid, he just gets overwhelmed. Sorry I didn't think to mention this before.

  7. #157
    Sleeps to dream entropy's Avatar
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    nevermind
    Last edited by entropy; 03-17-2015 at 07:07 PM.

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