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Thread: Tales of Everyday Homophobia

  1. #16
    lose my heart on the burning sand coronaradiata's Avatar
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    I was at a CocoRosie concert about a week or two ago, with my girlfriend. We were dancing together quite a bit - as was everyone else - and everything was fine. Then a slow song came on, and we cuddled up, and these two drunk guys started making whooping noises, and other charming things, RIGHT IN OUR FACES. They wouldn't shut the hell up or listen to any of the "fuck you"s we had to say, until they got bored and left. The worst thing, though, was that after they left, all the people around us had these like mocking, satisfied looks on their faces. It was really my first experience with that kind of harassment as I've only recently been more upfront with my sexuality, but I know it could have been worse.

  2. #17
    Hock...hockety-pockety? Joey's Avatar
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    So working in a Walmart jewelry department has its perks to say the least. Every. Single. Fucking. Time that I have to pierce a grown man's ears, I'm faced with the inevitable "now, make sure you don't pierce the fag ear!" Every time. Incidentally, for those of you who may not know, traditionally the right ear is considered the "gay ear." This, of course, all stems from pre-rights movement code that is fairly obsolete nowadays I would imagine.

    Anyway, recently I was told that while I was on vacation, my manager and a co-worker were working in the department together when an older man came up who wanted his ear pierced. He again gave them the "not the fag ear" speech and my beloved manager in her adorably naive way looked at my co-worker (who was also perplexed) and said, "Well...Joey has his left ear pierced, so..." and then proceeded to pierce this man's right ear.

    RESULT.

  3. #18
    whose wheels are squeaking arsonist samael's Avatar
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    ^Awesome.

  4. #19
    Curious Hedgehog Tarendai's Avatar
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    Thats incredibly homophobic, they could afterall just say, I only want my left ear pierced....
    GSV Tarendai

  5. #20
    I am a frequent poster on a bodybuilding/lifting forum. The other day, someone gave a compliment to someone's physique and followed it up by saying "no homo," which really gets under my skin. SO for pages of this thread I'm trying to explain to these straight guys why the term is so offensive, and a few of them just.did.not.get.it. "being gay is fine! I just want to point out that i'm not!"

    head.desk.

    Most of the guys were supportive, though. Which was nice.

  6. #21
    Crimson Liberator Faust's Avatar
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    Dear lord. I hate that. Because whatever bro, it's cool, if you need to insinuate your insecurity with your own sexuality by making sure it's clear that you're heterosexual, be my guest.

  7. #22
    French boy Simon's Avatar
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    that's really weird that it happened at a Cocorosie concert , when i went to see them this year I think 90 % of the crowd was Gay & Lesbian

  8. #23
    whose wheels are squeaking arsonist samael's Avatar
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    Iz got a tail! And this one comes from my own ranks so it's unbelievably disappointing. I've known this person for 5 years.

    Aaanyways, there was this guy at uni that I liked, and by that I mean, I liked to steal glances at him and appreciate the aesthetics. I wasn't ever being obtrusive or anything. So going to her birthday party a couple of weeks ago, I find out he's the best friend of her fuck buddy, and that they are very good friends, practically inseparable. Last night I start joking how he might not be straight, how there might be still a chance for me, to which she replies: 'Oh he's definitely straight. He thinks gays are *makes a disgusted sound*'
    To which I reply 'Mhm', and get very silent, being uncomfortable, realising that the guy I liked, suddenly hates me on the sole basis of me being gay.
    'Why are you all down all of a sudden?'
    'Meh, it's just that all of my illusions have been shattered right now', I reply half-jokingly.
    'So, what, now you don't like him?'
    'Well, I certainly like him less.'
    See, you're no better than him. You don't like him because of his silly trait, and he doesn't like you because of some of your own.'
    'Are you equating his prejudice and my sexuality?'
    'No, but how is it different? By the way, we all have prejudices. If I only started hanging out with people who never had any, I'd have no friends.'
    'I'm not saying I haven't got prejudices', I said, 'but I'm aware of what those are and I'm trying to correct myself and my actions.'
    'You're only upset that he hates gays. You wouldn't be if something else was in the question.'
    'No, I'd still have an issue with if he hated blacks or thought women were inferior to men.'
    'I'm sure you'd judge him for his own sexuality as well.'
    'How would I do that?'
    'Well, I told you he cheats on his girlfriend regularly cause he needs sex more than those couple of times his frigid girlfriend allows him to.'
    'Um, that's his BEHAVIOUR, my sexuality is what I am by default. I think those two are very different.'
    'You know what, I think you being offended because of his opinions in this particular matter is just egoism.'
    'Are you calling me being appalled by homophobia, my egoism? Is that what you just did?'
    She retracts and says sorry, adding 'See, people would judge me as well, if I ever told them of my sex life. People would call me a whore.'
    'Well, you know, I don't necessarily agree with what you do, that is something I could never do'.
    'Why?', she's getting a bit pissy.
    'Cause, it is not in my nature. I'm not promiscuous. It is also very foreign to me, as gays are to that guy (cause she argued he was acting out of ignorance and fear, which is true, I suppose). I have never judged you for it, though. I don't think you're a bad person, I think you're amazing, and I don't give a fuck as to what you get up to in your bedroom'.
    'Well, I consider myself tolerant of other people. I let things slide, otherwise I'd never have anybody to hang out with here.'
    'I am tolerant as well. But just ask yourself how money people would be tolerant of you?' (by this point it gets obvious she only talks about her sexual escapades to me). I may have only 3 friends, but at least they're decent human beings,' I said.
    'Well then it seems I only have one,' and looks at me. 'I can't not see him solely on the basis of this'.
    'I never asked you this, I just don't like you flipping your hair and calling my reactions to his homophobia egoism.'
    On comes a very halfhearted apology and we say goodbyes for the night. Sigh

  9. #24
    flayed on the marble stairs
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    I am so sick and tired of this stuff. I know it may sound trivial to a lot of you, but I've already been pretty traumatized by homophobic bullying as a kid, so to experience this kind of stuff now just brings back unpleasant memories that I've tried to overcome for so long. ARGH!

    This is probably the fifth time this has happened in the past one and half months. In a nutshell, I've volunteering in an endocrinology laboratory in Providence this summer, and I have to take that train back into Massachusetts to get home. Every single time I'm either walking to the station or from the station, I get some lovely dose of homophobia. A few days ago, a car full of guys drove by and screamed "cock sucker" at me. Today, I was crossing the street, and a car stopped behind me as I was crossing and beeped out of nowhere, scaring me. The guy inside screamed "faggot" and said that I looked like his mom, whatever that means. And not only that, but all the time cars either honk or speed up or pretend to start to drive while I'm crossing the sidewalk, and perhaps it's my paranoia, but I suspect it's because I'm a "fag". I wish I could just... blend in. Sometimes I wish I could do us all a favor and shoot them. Sorry, moment of self-pity there .

  10. #25
    Let them eat cake! Yuki's Avatar
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    Oh god that's awful. I wish people on the street would realize that we're all just trying to get through our days but some people just insist in being as nasty as possible to innocent pedestrians.

  11. #26
    someone to fall back on Owen's Avatar
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    http://gayrights.change.org/blog/vie...ort_gay_rights

    Texas Priest Tells Straight People They're Immoral If They Support Gay Rights: This priest goes on to compare homosexuality to rape, calls homosexuality an "intrinsic evil", and that straight people how support homosexuality are "morally decrepit". But it's OKAY because he signs off his lovely message with a call to love everyone and to treat people with respect.

    How sad that he serves a church that openly defends and protects the rapists and abusers of children.

    Dear Father Rodriguez. Fuck you, fuck your frock, and D.I.A.F.

  12. #27
    thirst world problems Octopussy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by coronaradiata View Post
    I was at a CocoRosie concert about a week or two ago, with my girlfriend. We were dancing together quite a bit - as was everyone else - and everything was fine. Then a slow song came on, and we cuddled up, and these two drunk guys started making whooping noises, and other charming things, RIGHT IN OUR FACES. They wouldn't shut the hell up or listen to any of the "fuck you"s we had to say, until they got bored and left. The worst thing, though, was that after they left, all the people around us had these like mocking, satisfied looks on their faces. It was really my first experience with that kind of harassment as I've only recently been more upfront with my sexuality, but I know it could have been worse.
    at CocoRosie?!? WTF?? I thought only queers liked them.

  13. #28
    Senior Member
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    once again my coworker started trashing a gay person (in regard to some catholic university professor who offended a student) from an article he remembered about today somehow while we were talking about something totally unrelated that I brought up. I shut up completely and turned my back to him while he was talking. how can someone hate gays that much and talk about them that much? I truly think his life revolves around thinking of others who don't tolerate his hateful beliefs and it's just sad.

  14. #29
    In the garden of your mind. Tellurium's Avatar
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    My boyfriend's biological father said he won't meet up with us in his house because he doesn't want to "confuse" his daughters. I guess our love is way too much for an 11 and 9 year old to wrap their heads around, and they will start to eat paste or whatever if they see us. The man took my boyfriend's coming out a whole lot better than we expected, and they were sort of warming to each other, but that comment set my boyfriend right back to officially being estranged from him.

    And when I tell my straight friends this, a lot of them aren't really bothered. "Well he's just trying to avoid having to explain gay people to his children" they say. Like, what? Why? Some people are gay. It's reality. And if you actually come out and say it, kids don't ever find it confusing. Surprise surprise.

    That's what really gets me. Not a homophobic man being homophobic, but people who are very friendly towards gay people who still see us as abnormal enough that this sort of thinking makes sense to them.

  15. #30
    balletic and glacial Jonathan's Avatar
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    ^ Ugh! It's not the first time I've heard this, and it pisses me off every time. When I came out to my parents, which is recently, my little brother (aged 8) took it in stride. He didn't go batshit or start dressing in drag or start developing schizophrenic symptoms or whatever - if anything, it showed him that the family'd love him whatever he wanted or turned out to be.

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