Page 52 of 53 FirstFirst ... 24250515253 LastLast
Results 766 to 780 of 790

Thread: Tales of Everyday Homophobia

  1. #766
    Senior Member Puddles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Kitchener, Ontario
    Posts
    670
    Quote Originally Posted by JayPeaches View Post
    WTF else does "faggot" even mean?! Jesus christ! Honestly, that word is right up there with "nigger" in terms of my discomfort in saying, hearing or seeing it and I do not EVER use it.
    They'll say things like, it means "stupid." The fact that it means stupid because it means gay either escapes them, or everything just comes down to their "intention" to not be homophobic (which I call bullshit on anyway, but it's an unfalsifiable claim, so whatever).

  2. #767
    ANUSTART Lathan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    [redacted]
    Posts
    3,645
    And if anyone tries to claim they're talking about a bundle of sticks, kick them in the neck.

  3. #768
    Remember. Steve SFM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    The American Riviera
    Posts
    7,693
    Quote Originally Posted by Puddles View Post
    So, how would you guys respond to straight people who defend their "right" to use the word "faggot?"
    I'd kick 'em in the neck.
    At my core, I think we're gonna be OK.

    Barack Hussein Obama

  4. #769
    There's an art to using offensive language. Some people can walk that line, some can't. For example, Louis CK, a straight man, can get away with saying "faggot" in his comedy. It's all about context and intent, so for that reason I'm not about the outright banning of any words for anyone, whatsoever. I think it has to be taken on a case by case basis.

  5. #770
    the unhappy worker waitressboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Buenos Aires
    Posts
    3,536
    I have to admit that just a few years ago I learned that "faggot" didn't have anything to do with this:


    I don't know, I always assumed there was some kind of joke about blowing that instrument and oral sex, and that why faggot was used for gays.
    When he woke up, the dinosaur was still there.

  6. #771
    Crimson Liberator Faust's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    6,236
    You have every right to say "faggot," regardless of its context. Just as I have every right to think you're a fucking idiot or worse for saying it.
    'Tis better to bend with the wind than stand tall and be broken. Therein lies hope; therein lies freedom.

  7. #772
    Doesn't it matter who's saying it? And how and why and where and when? I think you give words too much power when you see things in black and white like that.

  8. #773
    Senior Member Puddles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Kitchener, Ontario
    Posts
    670
    Quote Originally Posted by plastic•husband View Post
    Doesn't it matter who's saying it? And how and why and where and when? I think you give words too much power when you see things in black and white like that.
    Yes and no. Nine times out of ten the context doesn't in any way make it excusable. The exceptions are generally pretty obvious - I don't have a problem with it in "Taxi Ride" or "Real Men," for example.

  9. #774
    Well, that's what I'm saying. There are always exceptions. A word can't be blacklisted just for being a word. Context matters.

  10. #775
    Crimson Liberator Faust's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    6,236
    Quote Originally Posted by plastic•husband View Post
    Doesn't it matter who's saying it? And how and why and where and when? I think you give words too much power when you see things in black and white like that.
    Well, within the discussed context, I feel like it's pretty obvious. I generally think the context is more important than who's saying it, though I also think who's saying it can be part of the context? Words aren't that powerful for me personally, but when I see myself visibly cringe at the way someone chooses to use a word or turn of phrase, that's usually a pretty good natural indicator.

    I do think that people are accountable for their word choice. That's part of having the right to say what you want. And if their word choice is unsavory by many people's understanding of the word(s), can they really be upset when people don't like it? "Faggot" doesn't generally offend me, personally, but you're never going to see my tell someone it does offend to get over it. I don't know how it affects them.
    'Tis better to bend with the wind than stand tall and be broken. Therein lies hope; therein lies freedom.

  11. #776
    Senior Member Puddles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Kitchener, Ontario
    Posts
    670
    Quote Originally Posted by plastic•husband View Post
    Well, that's what I'm saying. There are always exceptions. A word can't be blacklisted just for being a word. Context matters.
    Sure - I think I was just a bit dismissive because "context matters" is the most frequently cited excuse for using homophobic slurs by straight homophobes, which was the issue I was trying to raise in my post. But I wouldn't care if Joan Rivers, for example, used the word in a performance or whether close friends who know each other's personal boundaries (or lack of them) used it around each other. Those are specific contexts in which most reasonable people can agree the word is not offensive.

    Most arguments over the word have to do with what the context is, rather than whether context matters or not. That's why it can become so frustrating trying to explain to a young straight man that whether he "intended" the word to be homophobic or not, the homophobic history of the word provides the context for why he shouldn't (if he cares at all about being a decent person) be carelessly throwing it around on a sports field or an Internet forum. And frankly, there's something very gross about a straight guy caring more about his "right" to use a homophobic slur rather than the gay people it offends.

  12. #777
    Quote Originally Posted by Puddles View Post
    And frankly, there's something very gross about a straight guy caring more about his "right" to use a homophobic slur rather than the gay people it offends.
    Well, I can't disagree with that.

    I have this one group of friends and acquaintances that consists mostly of dirtbag punk moped riders. Most of them are straight, some bi or gay, but within their circle they've sort of adopted "fag" as an insult meaning "whiny little bitch"-- sexual orientation plays no part in it. I kind of like that they've destroyed the power of that word by repurposing it. Whether or not the straights among them should be participating in that is debatable, but the whole vibe is refreshingly post-sexual. I guess that's what I meant by "context matters" as it's a different vibe from a bunch of homophobic frat boys throwing that word around.

  13. #778
    I don't know where else to share this:

    Yesterday I was walking into a hardware store and noticed a guy walking towards the same door, equidistant from me. I have social anxiety about a lot of situations, and one of them is wtf to do when I and another person approach a door at the same time. Do I wait and let them open it? Do I offer to open it? Do I slow down? Do I speed up? So all this is going through my head. So OF COURSE we get to the door at the exact same time and I start feeling all weird and don't know what to do, and then I look at him and he's wearing full makeup which caught me even further off guard (I live in a very small southern town, so men in makeup is incredibly rare). He says, "Girl, you look SO cute today!" and instead of thanking him I just mumbled something and went through the door as fast as I could.

    I FELT HORRIBLE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. I felt horrible for even mentally noting that he/she had on makeup, I felt horrible that my awkwardness may have been interpreted as homophobia (and thus made him/her have to experience that discomfort), I feel horrible that he/she may have felt judged by me. Really it all came down to my social anxiety, but now i'm questioning why I got even more nervous when I realized he/she was wearing makeup! I mean, if that had happened to me in NYC I would've been like, "THANKS! You totally just made my day!" but because it happened here I was like OH GOD WHAT DO I DO.

    I don't know what to think about myself right now.

  14. #779
    Alt Universe CliqueMember Spikey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Snarkletown
    Posts
    3,260
    First, (s)he was wearing full make up, but does that mean (s)he is gay; not necessarily, so you're not a homophobe. Latent transphobia? I actually don't really think that -phobias like that can really be latent. Your reaction was probably a relatively normal one, a simple combination of your anxiety (approaching the door together) AND being surprised by somebody who is "socially salient" (wearing full make-up as well as saying you look cute), not necessarily in a bad way. Don't beat yourself up about it.
    "Replies are a combination of nonsense, unrelated comments and inside jokes"‎

  15. #780
    Remember. Steve SFM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    The American Riviera
    Posts
    7,693
    Hey, kids!

    What do we think of the Nashville Statement?

    I'll start.

    At my core, I think we're gonna be OK.

    Barack Hussein Obama

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •