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Thread: Online dating/hookup (Manhunt/A4A/Grindr) stories

  1. #121
    Alt Universe CliqueMember Spikey's Avatar
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    Reminds, need to have a check up soon never like the process and always gets on my nerves.
    "Replies are a combination of nonsense, unrelated comments and inside jokes"‎

  2. #122
    balletic and glacial Jonathan's Avatar
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    ^^ I'm curious, what bothers you about it?

  3. #123
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    I can't answer for Spikey, but:
    - going to the doctor costs 140 euros
    - the clinic is free but it's difficult to get an appointment there
    - the judgy people in the waiting room
    - giving blood
    - swab from your cock (but they don't do that all the time anymore)
    - having to do your own anal swab
    - getting urine on your hands because you have to fill that super small cup
    - waiting for 30 minutes while you're thinking 'what if this time they tell me I'm not okay?'

  4. #124
    balletic and glacial Jonathan's Avatar
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    Huh! Where I am, at specialized clinics, tests are pretty cheap (under 25$ most of the time) and there's quite a few free options. These free options are often without appointments as well. We don't do the dickswabs ever here anymore either, and I find the judgy people have certainly diminished. Maybe you could bring those up to your health care provider?

    Aaand yeah, the anxiety of the positive is real. The moment where you review all the risks (or none!) you took recently, eh. I try to frame it in terms of taking care of my sexuality and that of my partners, but it doesn't help most of the time :P.

  5. #125
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    It varies per country. In The Netherlands, you can go to the GGD if you're gay, but it's very busy and that makes it hard to get an appointment. You can't just do a walk-in. But if you do get an appointment, I think you can go as often as you like. I had an appointment 2 weeks ago and made the next one as I was leaving. Kind of like how I handle my 6-monthly visits to the dentist.

    In Belgium, for instance, you can only get tested for hiv for free once a year. I'm not sure if that policy is also used when there are symptoms of an early HIV infection, but still.

    They only do dickswabs now if you have symptoms that indicate a swab would be necessary.

    I don't do 'crazy' things that would give me any reason to fear results, and even if I did end up getting something it wouldn't be the total end of the world. But there's no such thing as 100% safe sex so there's always some risk.

    I've noticed that a lot of people really still aren't educated about hiv and what the exact risks are. I was on holiday to Tel Aviv about 6 weeks ago, and I'm still in touch with one of the guys I met there. I'm flying out to see him at the end of December. We were on the phone, and when I told him that:
    - I semi-recently had sex with someone who is hiv-positive (but on meds, undetectable)
    - statistically have probably had sex with several hiv-positive people, I just didn't know it at the time (I'm gay, I live in Amsterdam, I'm pretty sexually active)

    ...he just kind of freaked out. I think in his mind, having sex with someone who is hiv positive (no matter whether it was safe sex, or the person was undetectable) equals to me probably being hiv positive as well.

  6. #126
    balletic and glacial Jonathan's Avatar
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    There's a *lot* of misinformation around regarding HIV transmission and viral load. It's pretty crazy. I notice especially among younger gay men - I remember, a few years ago, I would've never considered having sex with a poz guy because I lacked information to tell me otherwise.

    At clinics here, you can usually get an appointment within a month, but if you took moderate risks they can find you an appointment in the next 72h and if the risk is too high they point you straight to the hospital ER to get on PEP (depending on the sexual encounter you had).
    Last edited by Jonathan; 11-10-2015 at 03:06 PM. Reason: Clarification.

  7. #127
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    In Amsterdam we have a machine that can detect an hiv infection a week-and-a-half after you've had sex. But they'll only test you on it if you have symptoms.

    It's kind of interesting how the younger generation is growing up being so uninformed about hiv and just making assumptions like that. I'm almost 35 now, and I grew up watching MTV. Aids was fucking everywhere. It was constantly in the media in the 90s. Freddie Mercury. People with lesions. Everything. If anything, MY generation is the one that should still be scared shitless, even though we've come very far in the battle against hiv and aids.

  8. #128
    ForumBound EnjoyJoy's Avatar
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    This is going to sound absurd and like petty, but I went on this date with a guy I met on Tinder, and he was dumb... really good looking but so dumb I couldn't date him. There was stuff that I let slide... like not knowing what a palindrome was (he thought I was talking about paladins) I mean, not everyone learns that in school, right? I even let slide that he didn't know they speak German in Austria... But he legit thought the sun was the biggest star.

    His personality also didn't help, he was a bit smug.
    "A universe that needed someone to observe it in order to collapse it into existence would be a pretty sorry universe indeed."

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