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Thread: Guardian writer makes major discovery.

  1. #1
    she said destroy Lágnætti's Avatar
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    Guardian writer makes major discovery.

    Childfree people are just people who don't want kids!

    At a friend’s house with a group of other mothers recently, the conversation turned to someone we all knew well: married, in her early 40s. But rather than mention her career, recent house move or the fact that she’d just returned from a backpacking trip around Asia, we all exchanged looks and brought up the subject of children – or lack of them.

    I was as guilty as the rest of my friends: speculating on her “situation”, wondering if she couldn’t have children or didn’t want to. And if she didn’t want to – why not? Was she career obsessed? Did she not like them? Was she a secret drinker? Cheeks were sucked in and protective, adoring glances bestowed on the toddlers playing at our feet.

    But our friend, I’ve since discovered, has simply chosen not to have children. She is happy for her family to be just her husband and herself. She has never felt the urge to be a mother.
    I used to judge childfree women.

    She never gets to how she 'discovered' this astounding piece of information - perhaps by breaking free of her coven of dumb, slanderous (secret drinker? really? really?) hens and actually asking her like a sensible human being would have in the first place?

    Anyway, the comments are much better than the article in general.

  2. #2
    it's a long long climb Kari's Avatar
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    I saw this article!

    I think its good that this woman had a change of heart - but it is really baffling to me that some women who have chosen to have children so harshly judge those that don't. One of my besties has a 2 year old daughter - who to my own surprise I am very close to and love fiercely and is like family to me - and I see that despite the rewards of parenting its also extremely difficult. My friend supports my choice not to have children and it doesn't affect us as friends at all. Nor should it! If these judgy women thought objectively for just one moment and stopped deluding themselves that its all hearts and flowers, I don't think its a hard decision to understand.

    Being a parent is not for everyone. Perhaps there would be less scores of abused and neglected children if women were allowed to view childlessness as an option rather that "going against their nature", and it would behoove our ostensibly "pro life" government here in the states to provide contraception to that end. It's very frustrating.

    ETA: There was a great article in the Times yesterday which argued against the cult of "mommyhood" and also argued that children in the western world are something of a luxury in the current economic, societal and resource-based realities.

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