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Thread: When people "bingo" you...

  1. #166
    these days just seem to crush me
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kala View Post
    JSYK, it never ends. like when you reach 40. like when you reach 50. people were telling me in my 40's that someday(????) i would change my mind. these days, at 51, i am being told i should adopt!! yes. what a fantastic idea. i can still be a mom, cart my kid to soccer practice AND collect my social security checks all at the same time. a win-win-win!
    really? because when my husband and i mention that we might consider adoption, people's reactions seem absolutely shocked-like it's an awful thing to consider over having your own baby. i guess it becomes more acceptable as you get older

  2. #167
    A Matter Of How You See It Kala's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessy View Post
    i guess it becomes more acceptable as you get older
    duh. your time has run out. but ... but, not really because there's always adoption or surrogate mothers! IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO REMEDY THIS SITUATION:



    Because no one wants to believe that you deliberately chose not to have children; instead, you simply were too busy with career/responsibilities/life and *forgot*. And it's just that kind of presumptuous thinking that is despicably insulting to every childfree woman out there who possesses a functioning cerebrum.

  3. #168
    she said destroy Lágnætti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessy View Post
    really? because when my husband and i mention that we might consider adoption, people's reactions seem absolutely shocked-like it's an awful thing to consider over having your own baby. i guess it becomes more acceptable as you get older
    The same people who tell women that adoption is a wonderful, respectable alternative to abortion will also pour contempt on women who DO actually give up their kids for adoption instead of having abortions. HOW COULD YOU GIVE UP YOUR OWN CHILD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU I NEVER COULD OMG OMG WHEN YOU SEE THEM DON'T YOU WANT TO KEEP THEM OMG I COULD NEVAH.... seen it with my own eyes. There's little more likely to make the suburban breeder hens go a-moral-twitter than a modern girl who gets knocked-up, but decides to eschew the alleged joys and personal martyrdon of single motherhood and sensibly and without endless drama gives up the child to actually have a life and a job. It's one of the most high-larious modern pieties of all and I have zero time for the puffed-up princesses who spew it.

  4. #169
    she said destroy Lágnætti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kala View Post
    Because no one wants to believe that you deliberately chose not to have children; instead, you simply were too busy with career/responsibilities/life and *forgot*.
    There's one old woman at work who keeps deliberately bringing up her previously gormless (and now senile) old sister who never had children and spent decades in mourning and UNFULFILLED because of this around me as if hoping to obtain a confession on my part on the issue. I keep laughing at her and reminding her that her sister's ONE TROO DREAM was to have a family while mine was to avoid it and do more interesting things instead or at least not ever have to deal with poo and noise 24/7 for years on end. I'm still not sure the idea has sunk in. Luckily she has a thick skin and can take pot-shots back at her because she gets them, trust me.

    And it's just that kind of presumptuous thinking that is despicably insulting to every childfree woman out there who possesses a functioning cerebrum.
    The people who come up with this stuff don't have functioning cerebrums. They accidentally shat them out with the afterbirth, in my opinion. It's funny to me how small-minded people are who can't accept such n ordinary thing as some people having different aims and interests in life and not thinking giving birth or dragging up kids is a big whoop or a great adventure or something to hanker after or add to their to-do list. I do wonder whether the ones who constantly nag at us about it without any provocation recognise something strangely appealing in the idea themselves and want to stamp on it to reassure themselves that they did right after all, hence the constant harping on the topic with the sole aim of convicning themselves we're actually ALL THE SAME.

  5. #170
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    Quote Originally Posted by julius ebola View Post
    I do wonder whether the ones who constantly nag at us about it without any provocation recognise something strangely appealing in the idea themselves and want to stamp on it to reassure themselves that they did right after all, hence the constant harping on the topic with the sole aim of convicning themselves we're actually ALL THE SAME.
    I think there's a lot to that, really. It seems like some of them are jealous but couldn't possibly admit that maybe motherhood isn't the end all and be all, so they have to make others feel bad about not having children.

    I used to be on the fence but ended up deciding that I did not want children. Thankfully, in my case, as I have gotten older people have stopped asking if I'm going to have kids.

  6. #171
    Who's Deanna? SparkleMotion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by julius ebola View Post
    The same people who tell women that adoption is a wonderful, respectable alternative to abortion will also pour contempt on women who DO actually give up their kids for adoption instead of having abortions. HOW COULD YOU GIVE UP YOUR OWN CHILD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU I NEVER COULD OMG OMG WHEN YOU SEE THEM DON'T YOU WANT TO KEEP THEM OMG I COULD NEVAH.... seen it with my own eyes. There's little more likely to make the suburban breeder hens go a-moral-twitter than a modern girl who gets knocked-up, but decides to eschew the alleged joys and personal martyrdon of single motherhood and sensibly and without endless drama gives up the child to actually have a life and a job. It's one of the most high-larious modern pieties of all and I have zero time for the puffed-up princesses who spew it.
    I love you for saying this.

  7. #172
    she said destroy Lágnætti's Avatar
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    ^Thanks!

    Meanwhile, the Guardian has decided to publish the biggest pile of screechy, self-pitying, inherently bingotastic slop I've ever seen masquerading as journalism or even 'writing'. It's by some silly, spoiled, puffed-up cow has inhaled all the bingos wholesale and who also hates any actual mother who dares have a moan about her hard day or even post-natal depression because she herself hasn't got kids and decided in her mid-forties she really, really needed them.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandsty...out-motherhood

    Highlights include:

    It is overwhelming to know that my legacy begins and ends with me. So no "family gathering" photographs of me and mine with my siblings and theirs; no proudly watching my kid grow up; no natural place in life's cycle.
    I think we all recognise this bingo. KIDS R UR LEGACY. LIFE IS NUTHIN WITHOUT HAVING PASSED ON UR GENES. OMG OMG.

    Please don't give me the "aunts are loved too" platitudes. One of the saddest things I've ever seen was a bench in St Ives obviously placed there in memory of a woman who had loved that spot. On the back of the seat was a plaque engraved with "Much-loved aunt". Jesus. To me it made complete sense that the bench was on the edge of a sodding cliff!
    Which as an aunt and quite happy with it, I say fuck you you miserable cow, perhaps YOU should throw yourself off a cliff if life without a personal uterine infestation is so inherently awful meaningless for you? Go on. Do it. If you really believe that life is horridf and meaningless unless you produce your own personal crotch-trophy to parade around and see yourself in, you'll surely have no problem with ending it all. Off the cliff with you, pronto. The aunts, meanwhile, will go to the pub.

    I wasn't some hard-nosed career bitch who decided to play russian roulette with her fertility by waiting until her very last egg popped out – preferably between conference calls. I simply never met the right man – and, idiot me in retrospect, I wanted the whole package: the husband and the baby.
    See, I'm special. I'm not like those other childless 'career' bitches who are clearly inferior, cold-hearted and stupid. My reasons are special and superior and make me more deserving. WHY WON'T NATURE LISTEN AND REWARD ME?

    At 40, still on my own, I found out I was too old for NHS IVF, had no money and so put my head in the "I'm always reading about women who have babies in their 40s!" sand.
    It's really the saddest thing I've heard all day. TOO OLD FOR NHS IVF. The horror. Worst.life.ever.

    Then my dad died. Grief reassessed my life for me. (People want to create when someone dies. A book, a painting, a child.) I got brave and had fertility tests, which told me, at 46, that my chances of having a baby are pretty much zero.
    Infertile at 46? Shocking. No, really. I am shocked.

    Then it hit me just how much I wanted a baby and that nothing I have now means anything because that love is the love and I don't have it and won't have it, and therefore have nothing.
    Someone needs a slap. Calm down, dear. You sound like a 14 year-old brought up on Twilight who just got turned down by her first crush, not an adult women who should bloody well have a better sense of proportion and realism at her age.

    LIFE IS NOTHING WITHOUT REPRODUCTION, FOR BABIES ARE LOVE. Love, my arse. This is not about love. Everything she says stinks of ME ME ME and total narcissism. She sees a child as nothing more than an extension of her own ego, a thing to give her life the meaning she's failed to find elsewhere.

    And this is the final cherry on the narcissistic tantrum cake:

    I've had people I love die in front of me, but even that horror doesn't compare.
    Yeah. That pretty much sums it up. Loved ones have died in front of her but the pain doesn't compare to not getting the thing she wanted to complete herself. I'm so very, very glad this bitch will never reproduce.

  8. #173
    the reichenbach hero fox in socks's Avatar
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    wow. what a selfish cunt. no one else's misery can compare to hers. the horror, the pain, the cruelty of not being able to reproduce. and do NOT talk to her about adoption as clearly thats not being a real mother. pure self absorbed mental.

  9. #174
    waited with a glacier's patience Churumbela's Avatar
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    Seriously, she seems to have never grown past the point of teenaged emotional maturity. I absolutely despise people who fuss about how their pain is "so deep" and the rest of us "couldn't possibly understand." STFU, you self-centered cow. You aren't 13, you have absolutely no excuse for being so self-centered aside from the fact that you're just a crappy human being. Incidentally, tons of people have had those they love die in front of them, so waving it around like some badge of one's intense life experiences is really infantile.
    I am the beginning. The end. The one that is many.

  10. #175
    Who's Deanna? SparkleMotion's Avatar
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    She actually compared a baby to a book or a painting??? I fully accept feeling like something you created is like another whole being to you. But to actually lump them together? Any woman can produce a child. I'd give my soul to do the kind of writing I once thought I was capable of. Producing a (well thought out) book or play takes tons more discipline than popping out a unit.

    A bit o/t but I wanted to share:

  11. #176
    Luckiest SweetPea's Avatar
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    Not sure if this counts as a "bingo" but it pissed me off today...

    ... the husband and I were waiting to start our Thanksgiving 5k with his Mom and Step-Dad when she kept pointing out "cute" little kids (mostly little assholes running thru the crowds almost tripping peopel). This isn't entirely new for her but ever since my bro-in-law had their little boy she's gotten worse. She's that obnoxious new-ish grandmother that now thinks all children are adorable and everyone around her should care about it.

    Jesus H. woman, shut up.
    You don't have to do everything all by yourself.

  12. #177
    imagine a future and be in it emanate's Avatar
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    Oh, look. Another article full of patronizing, bingoing bullshit:

    http://www.rolereboot.org/family/det...t-not-paying-a

  13. #178
    Administrator Ryan's Avatar
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    ^ I haven't read the article yet but the title alone makes me want to choke someone. Luckily I scrolled down to the comments to see that people actually called the author on it.

    ETA: That "article" just got more and more ridiculous as it went. My favorite bit:

    Or maybe it’s not event planning. I don’t know. That’s what you have to figure out. But if you aren’t attentive to what’s happening around you, if you don’t respond to it, you’ll never figure it out. You’ll stay in this job that you hate and you’ll drag me to have coffee and complain. Again.
    She sounds like a great friend. I'd really hope that if my friends felt that I was dragging them out to have coffee and complain, they'd quit pretending they were actually my friends.

  14. #179
    two beavers are better than one! Robin Sparkles's Avatar
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    In a way, telling yourself that you’re not ready to become a parent is like saying, “I’m not ready to broaden my horizons.” Or, “I’m not ready to be humbled on a daily basis.” Or, “I’m not ready to feel my heart swell up with admiration and pride.”
    Oh my god, this woman needs a swift kick to the cunt.

  15. #180
    imagine a future and be in it emanate's Avatar
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    Seriously. This is one of my favorite bits:

    And you’re a little dismissive of your own mother. I know she can’t text and she still calls the DVD player “the VCR.” But trust me, one day in your first trimester it’ll hit you that for each of the six billion people on the planet, a mother was pregnant and went through what you’re going through.
    ZOMG I NEVER REALIZED ALL OF THE PEOPLE ON EARTH ARE A RESULT OF PREGNANCY. Thanks, Janine. I never would have figured that out without you.

    Also, my mom can text and work the DVD player, thank you very much, so how about not dismissing the tech capabilities of moms?

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