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Thread: GOOP or POOP? The Gwyneth Paltrow Thread.

  1. #1216
    Crimson Liberator Faust's Avatar
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    So we're a stone throw away from her actively promoting beef milk, is that right?

  2. #1217
    Senior Member Mori's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ryan View Post
    I didn't see anything for $4.
    .
    It's probably the shipping and handling cost. Besides, why does she need to mention she has low priced things anyway. Clearly she's aiming towards a particular demographic. I'm sure no one who can only afford Wal-Mart brand clothes is crying over not buying something from GOOP. There's certain stores that you know are catered to rich people, why not just own that fact?

  3. #1218
    Sleeps to dream entropy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mori View Post
    It's probably the shipping and handling cost. Besides, why does she need to mention she has low priced things anyway. Clearly she's aiming towards a particular demographic. I'm sure no one who can only afford Wal-Mart brand clothes is crying over not buying something from GOOP. There's certain stores that you know are catered to rich people, why not just own that fact?
    This is a difficult request for a delusional person!

  4. #1219
    Loves ponies. Hates phonies. Regina Phalange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robert View Post
    So we're a stone throw away from her actively promoting beef milk, is that right?

  5. #1220
    Alt Universe CliqueMember Spikey's Avatar
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    Today I was stupid enough to click on the "commercial" button in my gmail.
    Find the odd man out.

    "Are you a narcissist?" xxx Goop. Do I even want to open that. It probably contains some bogus confirmation that she isn't a narcissist.
    "Replies are a combination of nonsense, unrelated comments and inside jokes"‎

  6. #1221
    A Midspring's Nightmare Rabih's Avatar
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    Oooooh. Yawning requires training. You have been doing it all wrong and here's how you should yawn, according to Gwyneth.

    Yawn #1
    Gently tilt your head back to a comfortable position and allow your mouth to hang open widely while you gently extend into it.

    Contract the back of the throat as if to perform Ujjayi breathing—a whispery breath—which is typically done through your nose with your mouth closed. Breathe deeply through your mouth so you feel the air hit the back of your throat.

    Inhale and exhale completely while allowing your shoulders to relax as you exhale.

    When the yawn comes, reach and extend into it, riding the yawn to stretch the jaw muscles.

    Repeat 8-10 times until tearing starts. As your jaw muscles stretch and relax, and the yawn expands, the lacrimal glands around the eye are squeezed and tearing is induced.

    Yawn #2
    Continue with steps 1-4 above, and when the yawn comes, bring together only the lips. Keep the teeth slightly separated. Creating this shape with your mouth as you yawn will take out more slack in the throat muscles to bring the lengthening and relaxation around the base of the tongue, and further stretch and relax the neck, jaw, and occipital regions.

    Repeat 8-10 times until you begin to tear.

    Explore these exercises throughout the day, especially before bed, to release accumulated energy and tension that may result from conversation and or the vicissitudes of the day.

    Note: Tearing is not necessary for this exercise to be beneficial.

  7. #1222
    ANUSTART Lathan's Avatar
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  8. #1223
    I'm a creep I'm a weirdo
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  9. #1224
    Alt Universe CliqueMember Spikey's Avatar
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    Everything got a lot cheaper, it seems!!

    "Replies are a combination of nonsense, unrelated comments and inside jokes"‎

  10. #1225
    What, me worry? inexcelsis17's Avatar
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    Just saw an article saying that it would cost $200 to make Gwynnie's breakfast smoothie.
    Gwyneth drinks one of these every morning, whether or not she’s detoxing. Choose your Moon Juice moon dust depending on what the day ahead holds…brain before a long day at the office, sex dust before a date, etc.

  11. #1226
    Butts. soignee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by inexcelsis17 View Post
    Just saw an article saying that it would cost $200 to make Gwynnie's breakfast smoothie.
    redonkulous 50$ "special dust" aside, all I got from that smoothie is that cordyceps, the little zombie fungus that mind controls its hosts, is a supplement for it.

    HAVE YOU PEOPLE NOT PLAYED LAST OF US?

  12. #1227
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    Quote Originally Posted by inexcelsis17 View Post
    Just saw an article saying that it would cost $200 to make Gwynnie's breakfast smoothie.
    To be fair, it looks like the $200 is to get all the ingredients involved and those ingredients would make more than just one shake.

  13. #1228
    Administrator Ryan's Avatar
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    Buzzfeed had some of their employees try the "smoothie."


  14. #1229
    :: dutch oven :: wout's Avatar
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    "Sounds like my grandpa's name"
    post28!

  15. #1230
    Why is this happening to me? beanstew's Avatar
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    Halfwit actress’ website may not be the best source of medical advice, says shock report
    A website filled with the wittering voices in Gwyneth Paltrow’s head may not be a better source of health advice than an actual qualified doctor, according to shock claims made today.

    The website, which is relied upon by gullible people with too much time and money to keep them in peak physical condition, has been criticised for content whose health value ranges from ‘no noticeable effect whatsoever’ to ‘this shit will fuck you up’ – leading some to suggest that the whole thing is just a mechanism to use fame to milk wealthy morons.

    Investigators concluded that the closest thing Paltrow has to a medical qualification is that time she replaced Tony Stark’s robot heart in Iron Man, and it would be unwise to assume that meant her advice to blow steam up your fanny is worth following.

    Goop has defended their claims, which include saying that Paltrow’s signature perfume ‘can act as an antibiotic’ and walking barefoot can cure insomnia.

    “It might, it might not,” they told us. “We’ve never actually checked, but that doesn’t mean it absolutely doesn’t, does it?

    “You say ‘deceptive’, we say ‘unsubstantiated’. Just because something hasn’t been proved, that means it hasn’t been proved false either.

    “You and your ‘science’ and ‘facts’ and ‘double-blind peer reviewed studies’. What you feel in your heart is more valuable than any of those things when it comes to wellness.

    “The human body is capable of remarkable things if you just believe, and what better way to show you believe than by forking out a few thousand bucks for our products?”
    Maybe for once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You're making a scene."

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